I am up at 5:30 in the morning. I am pissed off. Why? Because I am up at 5:30 in the morning to go to work. Frankly, I don't get paid enough to get up this early. Last week I went to work at 7am twice. This is stopping today. If I wanted to be miserable I would be making a lot more money to be miserable. The last time I was up at 4:30am was when I hadn't gone to bed yet. In fact I can't remember a time when I have had to wake up before 5:00 or even before 6:00. Oh, yeah... I delivered the paper once. I was making more money. I swear I could get a job just about anywhere and make more money.

God bless YouTube!

"I was alone I took a right. I didn't know what I would find there."

When I was a kid I loved The Beatles. I still do. In particular, my favorite song was Yellow Submarine. I have no idea why. It sort of sounds like a kid song I guess. My favorite line even to this day (I am listening to Revolver in my car now) is, "And we live a life of ease. Everyone of us has all we need. Sky of blue and sea of green in our Yellow Submarine" and then there is this yell that I really like.

I also really liked Sam Cooked as a kid. I still do. Now, his music isn't very kid like. In the summers I went to daycare at my private Baptist school. I would take my Walkman and a Best of Sam Cooke tape my mom had and listen to it most of the day. It was awesome. At said private school they once called my parents cause I was singing one of my other favorites. It is called Tweeter and the Monkey Man by the Travelling Wilburys.

Tweeter and the monkey man were hard up for cash
They stayed up all night selling cocaine and hash
To an undercover cop who had a sister named Jan
For reasons unexplained she loved the monkey man

Tweeter was a boy scout before she went to Vietnam
And found out the hard way nobody gives a damn
They knew that they found freedom just across the jersey line
So they hopped into a stolen car took highway 99

(chorus)
And the walls came down all the way to hell
Never saw them when they're standing
Never saw them when they fell

The undercover cop never liked the monkey man
Even back in childhood he wanted to see him in the can
Jan got married at fourteen to a racketeer named bill
She made secret calls to the monkey man from a mansion on the hill

It was out on thunder road - tweeter at the wheel
They crashed into paradise - they could hear them tires squeal
The undercover cop pulled up and said everyone of yous a liar
If you don't surrender now its gonna go down to the wire

(chorus)

An ambulance rolled up - a state trooper close behind
Tweeter took his gun away and messed up his mind
The undercover cop was left tied up to a tree
Near the souvenir stand by the old abandoned factory

Next day the undercover cop was hot in pursuit
He was taking the whole thing personal
He didn't care about the loot
Jan had told him many times it was you to me who taught
In jersey anythings legal as long as you don't get caught

(chorus)

Someplace by rahway prison they ran out of gas
The undercover cop had cornered them said boy, you didn't
Think that this could last
Jan jumped out of bed said there's someplace I gotta go
She took a gun out of the drawer and said its best if you don't know

The undercover cop was found face down in a field
The monkey man was on the river bridge using Tweeter as a shield
Jan said to the monkey man I'm not fooled by tweeters curl
I knew him long before he ever became a jersey girl

(chorus)

Now the town of jersey city is quieting down again
I'm sitting in a gambling club called the lions den
The TV set been blown up, every bit of it is gone
Ever since the nightly news show that the monkey man was on

I guess Ill go to Florida and get myself some sun
There ain't no more opportunity here, everything's been done
Sometime I think of tweeter, sometime I think of Jan
Sometime I don't think about nothing but the monkey man

I didn't get in trouble or anything. They were the ones listening to it. Doing drugs, transvestites, shooting cops, stealing, gambling, all those things in one song. You can imagine how it went over at the Baptist school when I was five.

JT

Tattoo Jason (so known because we know more than one Jason) showed us this video the other day. It is Justin Timberlake on SNL. It is rediculous and funny. Even if you don't think it is funny you have to watch it until the instruction. You will understand when you see it.

Sundance

Before I die I want to go to The Sundance Film Festival. Just once, that is all I ask. I want to see every single movie that is humanly possible. I want to party all night long. Maybe I would even ski. Okay, well I would definitely see every movie possible.

So if anyone wants to donate to the cause let me know.

A ticket package to see 20 films you choose is $650.

All access, what ever you want, as many movies and you don't have to choose in advance is $2,500 but this only includes either opening night ceremonies or closing night ceremonies not both.

Plus I need a plane ticket and a hotel room for 10 nights. I gotta go hit the street corner now and start saving. Maybe I can make it in a couple of years.

Any suggestions would be helpful!!!!

I have been knitting my ass off! I knit over half of this caplet to discover that I think I will have to take over half of my work out and fix it. This pattern sucks! I got a free pattern from Lion Brand Yarn. It says it is easy and I 'm sure it would be if the pattern didn't suck. To the knitters out there check rnd 2 and rnd 13 on the picture with the pattern and tell me what you think. Cause to me it reads like you cable two different set of stitches. Then when you pass 13 and get to Rnd 24 you wind up cabling the first set of stitches you cabled! The picture clearly shows that there is more twists in the cable and a large number of stitches between the cables. Should I follow the pattern through? Should I scrap it , take most of my work out and do what I thought was right to begin with?

I went to my dad's house, yesterday. I took some pictures of his petting zoo. Here they are.

Last night I was sitting on the couch watching House of 1000 Corpses. Kyle doesn't like to watch tv at all. So he usually in and out. Sometimes he will even sit down. When he sat down I looked at him in profile and thought how long his hair is. I love it, his long hair. He has started growing these mini chops and he looks like he is straight out of Dazed and Confused. It makes me smile.



Kyle has this languid way about him. It is hard to explain. I think it may be that he is so long his body does things naturally that you and I wouldn't do comfortably. He has this certain way with his wrist. Just the way it lays makes me feel lazy. Not in a bad kinda lazy, but a really good lazy. An everything is perfect, the sun is shining, I'm in love, sorta lazy. I get the same feeling when he leans on a hand railing. He will always put one hand on the railing and sort of crosses his legs in this totally carefree way, the way he tucks his feet up under him. It is all very characteristically Kyle. He can't take a normal picture. He has to give me a dirty look. This is a good dirty look. He is not contorting his face in some unnatural way.

How do I injure myself?

Let me count the ways.

Thursday, I got a wicked paper cut on the inside of my ring finger. It was from the thick, slick paper that stickers come on. It bleed.

Friday, I tried to cut my thumb in half. I was cleaning tape gunk off my scissors and pushed a little to hard and my finger slipped. It mostly cut into to top layers of skin. It is sorta weird cause you can see where it went deep enough to bleed through the thin layer of skin that is loose. It hurts when there is loose skin to get caught on things.

Saturday, I hit my pinkie finger on a knife while cleaning a cutting board. It hurts and it is bleeding pretty bad. The first time I have ever cut my finger on a knife, and I wasn't even cutting anything. It didn't start bleeding for a few seconds and I could see the split all white and eerie.

That is three cuts in three days. Just call me Grace.

How will Aquarius affect your horoscope?

I was bored so I thought I would read the Yahoo news thing.

Remind me again how the alignment of the planets helps you find antiques.

All I can think of is the scene at the end of The 40 Year Old Virgin when they are doing a choreographed dance routine to Aquarius.

"When the moon is in the Seventh House
And Jupiter aligns with Mars
Then peace will guide the planets
And love will steer the stars"

On Sunday, all that ice was standing water. The dogs went out this morning and I could hear the crunching from the couch. Every step was louder than the next.

The weather is driving me crazy! I hate the cold! I hate freezing rain and sleet. If it doesn't stop I am packing up and moving where it will never freeze.

I haven't been to work in three days. My battery is shit. My car won't start. We left on Monday when it wasn't so bad and bought a battery. It isn't like we are going to stand out there like assholes in the sleet to put it in.

City-Wide Garage Sale

Or otherwise know as the best day of my life. Or otherwise known as the best find of my life. Both dresses were marked about 27. The total for the two dresses came to 55. She took 10 off because there was a broken button. Then I had 4 ones and so she took 44 so I wouldn't have to break a twenty. I love the neckline on this dress. The picture does not do it justice. There is a button missing on the back of this one that little piece of fabric hanging down is supposed to be buttoned behind me.
I am telling you I have never put anything on that has fit me so well or that was so flattering.

Here it is

I bought the magazine at work today.

This is who I am

For some reason when I get in the shower my mind goes into overdrive. It doesn't happen in the mornings when I just wake up. It only happens when I have been awake for a while. Anyways, for some reason I keep thinking of this girl I went to middle school with. The last time I saw her was years ago. I think the last time I was still in high school, if memory serves.

Okay, so this girl. First, she would sometimes ride my bus. In middle school we didn't say two words to each other. Not that I resented that or anything. Though, she did give off a "cooler than you" aura. So she was to cool for me, whatever. I sat and moped anyways. Plus what made her ever so cool is she dated the most beautiful boy ever, Xavier. The most beautiful boy. She went home with him sometimes on our bus. You know, she was thin and dressed really cool, maybe she was bad. We were 13 maybe she was having sex. You could never tell. Who knows she may have been. After that year I didn't see her. I didn't really think about her. When I did see her again we were working together. I was still in high school. I don't think she was going to high school. We were the same age? Did she quit? I can't seem to remember.

The point of the story is this. When I saw her again I was WAY cooler. One of Kyle's friends was working with us. He is so super cute and sweet. So obviously she wants him. She came over to our house. Oh, did I mention that Kyle, this particular friend, and I all lived together and worked together. I think that may be important. She comes over and, wow. She was loud, really load. She didn't have anything interesting to say. Everything she said was, I can't even describe. It was horrible. Kyle's friend became uninterested really quickly. When she quit the job she went to work for Joy Men's Club. Yes, that is exactly what it sounds like it is. Once she dressed nice and cool, if a bit grungy. It was the nineties after all. But when I saw her again she wouldn't wear a bra and she really needed one. She told this really loud story about how her roommates wouldn't let her into her house and so and so called her a bitch...blah, blah, blah... I tuned it out after that. Plus we were in the kitchen and it was echoing. It was enough to make me want to kill myself.

Why do I think of this in the shower? It sneaks up on me too. All of sudden I find myself thinking, "Why in the hell are you thinking about this?"

I have a confession

I really love Martha Stewart. For a short time a couple of years ago we didn't have cable. Late at night Martha Stewart was the only thing on. She does some really awesome stuff.

Today at work I saw the latest issue of Martha Stewart Weddings. On the cover is the single, most beautiful wedding dress I have ever seen in my life. I would post a picture if I could find one. Plus on the website there is all sorts of wedding tips, for finding the right dress for you and what not.

I also barked my shin on a ladder today. It hurt really bad. I wanted to cry.

Do you know what would be the coolest thing in the whole world?

A Target full of Clearance. An only Clearance Target. Wouldn't you just die?

Sit down. I need to talk to you.

Let's have a chat about knitting. About things that are a little beyond me.

First: Knitting with dog hair. Yep, dog hair. I watched an episode of Knitty Gritty about knitting with dog hair. It was for a dog sweater, but that doesn't matter. It is weird. You could either spin your own dog's hair or buy dog hair that is already spun. You can buy dog hair yarn. That is too weird for me.

Second: Cozies. I just don't get it. Why would your toilet paper or your tea or your computer screen need to stay warm? Inanimate objects don't feel. Why waste your time? And you should see all the things that people knit cozies for pencils, Kleenex, teapot, remote control. I just don't get it. What is the point?

Too pooped to party!

I worked eleven hours today.

I taught a knitting "class". (It was only one person.)

My neck hurts.

I am almost on my period. But I am not. So I feel like there is no excuse, which is worse.

Kyle had the nerve to ask me if I was going to cook for him. And it made me mad. That is how close to my period I am. That wouldn't bother me usually.

Conversation by the bed at 9am a couple of days ago:
"Did you take your pill last night?'
"I think so. You better check."
(Inspecting pill pack.)
"Yep, oh, look at that almost period time.... I think I will get my pillow and move to the other room."
Cynical laughter all around.

It's funny because it is true.

The worst night EVER!

I wanted to see the Season Premiere of The L Word. Last year Corley and I went a gay club and watched it. It was fun. I love the show. I love watching lesbian drama. What can I say? So after RSVPing like the website told me to do, when we got to the venue it was sold out. We were even early. I was so heart broken. Then we went to a few gay clubs to see if they were going to play it. They weren't. What is a girl to do? Go home and watch it at home? Well that would be great, but unfortunately no Showtime.

The we went to a bar since we were downtown. Somebody fell on me. She didn't realize there was a step and she tumped her chair over backwards and fell on me. This really isn't unusual, 'cause let me tell you something. I must look like a giant fucking target. I can't go to sporting events with balls, or play any sports with balls. Inevitably they hit me in the face or head. That really isn't fun. I have been hit in the face with every single ball ever played with, maybe. Lets see, my dad hit me in the eye with a tennis ball once, my brother hit me in the face with a soccer ball when I was little (that is a favorite family story), I was hit in the head with a volley ball while in a pool when I was like one and it hit me so hard I was dunked (also a family favorite), I was once hit in the throat with a kickball which really hurt. So that leaves golf balls, foot balls, anything else? And for the record she mostly fell on my legs, but the chair or her head or her elbow, something hard hit the back of my hip and it is bruised and it is sore.

I just thought about going home and crying myself to sleep. But we decided to go to a giant local book store and it was fun. Then we went to see my friend from my old job. It was fun. He told us some funny stories. I felt a little better. Then we went to IHOP and I gorged myself with blueberry pancakes. I think in the end this only made me feel worse.

When I was almost home, driving in my neighborhood there was this old wooden sign and it was completely ablaze. It was midnight and there was this old wooden sign on fire? Hmmm, that is weird I better call the fire department, just in case. So I call, I tell them that there is a fire in my neighborhood, not a house, it is a wooden sign. Then she asked what kind of fire it was. It is a sign, what do you mean? What is it started with? I don't know. I just drove by and there is a fire. "No", she says, "What is it?" A sign how many times do I have to say a wooden sign is on fire. I know it sounds like I am high, but there is a fucking sign on fire. It took the fire department about 10 minutes to get there. I had already gone home, but I heard them. That would really suck if your house was on fire and it took 10 minutes. You could probably die by then.

Okay, this one is funny. For one thing, me and Corley have the same person on this one. I don't remember her name but she is the fifth one up. Me and Corley couldn't look more different. Second of all, I am incredibly ethnic. I am asian, I am latino or something. It is like that matched up all the people with black hair and put them on my list. There weren't enough white girls with black hair.

Really? Audrey Hepburn?

Late Christmas

Me and Corley are doing a Christmas swap.... after Christmas. I thought it was a good idea to wait until after Christmas when the both of us had money and time. I am really excited about her presents. I can't post picture until after she gets it. I can't even give you clues. I don't want to ruin it. What I can tell you is that everything is going to be either green, pink, or brown or all three, or any combination of the three. That is the theme for our Christmas swap. And pretty much everything I can think of right now is hand made! There may be a few little things that were bought, but for the most part all hand made. I can't wait to post pictures cause you will love it. By you I mean Corley and the rest of you.

'07 is heaven

Yesterday, I spent my eighth consecutive New Year's Eve with Kyle. I had visions of '99-'00 New Year and thought, "Huh, who would have guessed?" Today eight years ago Kyle told me that he loved me for the first time. Ahhhh! I still remember. It is pretty easy to remember. Plus we had been together for 3 months exactly. Now we have probably told each other that we love each other about 3 billion times, give or take a billion. When I think about our relationship I think about how lucky I am. Some of my best memories are laughing with Kyle, nothing more. Laying in bed laughing, cleaning the house laughing, driving laughing, laughing until I have cried on to many occasions to count. For the better part of eight years I feel like all I have really accomplished is laughing more than anyone in the world.

In the whole time me and Kyle have been together he has scared me a handful of times. Not just a walk up behind you when you weren't expecting it kinda scare. The kind of scare that sucks all the wind from you, the kind of scare where you should scream, but there is no air to scream with. The first time we had probably been together 2 maybe three years. He wasn't supposed to be home. I got in the shower and I had heard something. I wasn't quite sure what it was so I said something, "Kyle" who knows. But Grubb didn't make any noise. It can't be that bad right? He barks when paper ruffles cause the fan is on. And right as I am thinking it can't be that bad. Boom, he opens the shower curtain. Oh, my god. I had visions of psycho. I just knew someone was going to murder me in the shower like a horror movie. I didn't scream. Those movies are all bullshit. It would be scarier if there was no screaming and someone got murdered quietly cause they were to scared to scream.

The next time was a couple years ago. We were at Carrabba's. It is an Italian food place that is so good. This particular time it was very quite there. We were laughing about something. It was something off color as usual. Something like someone being mean to their wife. I think I have blocked it. So we try to stifle our laughs as the waiter comes over. When the guy leaves Kyle says in this mock yell (the kind of yell type voice parents use when they don't want the whole word to hear them chastise there kid, it is very harsh and threatening but no necessarily loud), "Don't you even talk to the waiter." or "Don't you ever order for yourself." I don't know I blocked it for sure. I thought I would jump out of my seat. Something about his voice and the fact that maybe I had never heard it before? My heart stopped. He was kidding of course and we still laugh about this today. But it scared the shit out of me.

This last time was a couple of weeks ago. My mom went out of town. Kyle left for work. I left for her house to feed her dogs and give them water. She was going to be back the next day. I heard a knock on the door. The dogs were barking and everything. Tammy had this real pine thing on her door it wasn't a wreath. It was like a cluster of pine branches and they were tied in the middle with ribbon, think fleur de lie. Anyways, I couldn't look out the peep hole. I opened the door and crack and looked out. As soon as I could see this body came rushing towards the door with one big step. I froze I was so scared. My mind wasn't even processing what was going on. I almost slammed the door and locked it, but then I realized it was Kyle. He delivers pizza in my mom's neighborhood and he had delivered down the street and he was coming to see me and be sweet (and he bum rushed the door thinking I was only opening it a little to not let the dogs out), instead I peed myself. Not really, but if there was ever a time when I was going to lose control of my platter that would have been it. I am pretty secure in the fact that you can't scare the shit out of someone, literally.

Happy New Year