Monday, September 29, 2008

Welcome, Welcome

You should prepare yourself for the horrible feast of all things grotesque. In two days I plan to let my imagination run wild as I wow you with the disgusting. Then I will let you vote which disgusting thing you would rather do. No fancy-schmancy do-das just you and me and the comments. I will always vote. Take some deep breaths, hold your nose, and plunge right in to the sticky fun.

Saturday, September 27, 2008

The most exciting thing in my near future (sadly) is that there is a new season of Dexter and Californication airing this Sunday. [read deadpan] Ya-hoo.

Friday, September 26, 2008

My pirate name is:

Bloody Mary Bonney

Every pirate lives for something different. For some, it's the open sea. For others (the masochists), it's the food. For you, it's definitely the fighting. You can be a little bit unpredictable, but a pirate's life is far from full of certainties, so that fits in pretty well. Arr!

Get your own pirate name from
part of the network

Thursday's Atrocities

Get to school 
Park (for free- miracle of miracles)
Walk to class
Almost get run over
Clean poo from my shorts (figuratively speaking)
School is way to long
Go to my moms'
Have dinner at Thunderclouds
Start feeling a little better
On a whim go to Neiman Marcus (the Goodwill I was looking for used to be near by)
Society affirmed that I have nothing and I never will, therefore I am inferior 
Drop my mom off at her house 
Drive home
Watch The Salton Sea
Look on the Internet for wedding shoes 
Kyle comes home 
Go to grocery store
Take Benadryl
Go to bed 
Wake up because Sluggs is having another seizure.  
Change the sheets because this time he lost control of his bowels. 
Cry a little on the inside 
Kyle takes the trash out and sees someone sleeping in their car across the street
This bothers him so he has to put clothes on at 4:30 in the morning and ask why they are there
Turns out if was some woman crying and text messaging 
This is a strange neighborhood 
Go back to bed 

Today I indulged in my one vice- Book Buying.  And Whataburger, I  guess that's two.  Which was a mistake.  The term "it went right through me" was created for situations in which you break down and eat fast food after going awhile without the greasiness.  

Brilliant Idea for October NaBloPoMo voting theme- the game "Would You Rather?" Light, easy, funny all the things I wish life were.  

Wednesday, September 24, 2008

I got some rest

and remembered what I had intended to write about.  Yesterday as I was leaving my Walt Whitman class I heard this conversation: 
You are in the class right across from me? What is it?
Walt Whitman
Oh, yeah? How are you liking it?
It is pretty tight.  
Tight? Really?  I didn't even realize that people still said that, little less use it to describe the single most boring class I have ever taken.  How do you think Whitman would feel having a class about him described as "tight"?  I contemplated suicide in that class yesterday.  The only way I could think to do it was slam my head on my desk.  I thought at the very least it would make me pass out and that would be a minute less I would have to suffer through the awkward silence and boringness.  I summoned up some will power and managed to make it through only to leave class and hear that.  

Yesterday, I also saw an incredibly attractive man.  I got out of one of my classes early and I was sitting in the hallway waiting for the class to get out of my next class.  A man walks out of the room.  I look up.  Holy smokes!  He has long hair in thin dreadlocks.  He is black so that is a good think not a bad thing. He has an unkept beard.  I can't tell how old he is. He has some kinda fabulous arms, taut and sinewy. Turns out he is the professor and he is British.  Good night.  It was making my head sweat.  

Tuesday, September 23, 2008

Clay Aiken is Gay !!!! What?

What a shock!  Blind people can tell he is gay.  

I left for school today at 11:30 am and I didn't get back to my house until 9:00 pm.  Way, way too long to be at school.  

I had something else to say, but I got all off track and now I'm too tired to remember.  

I have decided (should I do anything for Halloween, which is doubtful) to dress as Juno.  
the same hair- check 
ratty t-shirt- check
old holly jeans- check
dirty converse- check
vintage flannel- check 
I have to be a somewhat pregnant Juno because my tits are too big to be a non- pregnant one.  

Monday, September 22, 2008


I am so lazy.  It is getting to be a problem.  I just don't want to do anything.  It doesn't help that I don't particularly like any of my classes. Two back to back poetry classes is a little much.  And by a little much I mean completely horrible.  This semester is only three and half weeks in.  Only ELEVEN more weeks to go.  Approximately eleven papers to write, 6 tests to take, and a number of small projects before the end.  I hate school.  I can't help it.  

By the end of this week I will have knocked one test and one paper off the to-do list.  

Saturday, September 20, 2008


I have watched so many movies this week, this weekend in particular. 
  • Trantasia- fabulous, just as I expected a Transexual Beauty Pageant to be.
  • House of D- I love David Duchovny sex addict or not. 
  • Pieces of April- It was pretty good. I'm not a big fan of Katie Holmes. She bothers me, but I don't know why.
  • Burn After Reading- Not my favorite Coen Brothers movie, but it was okay.
  • Dream Lover- I love James Spader weirdo or not.
  • I Know Who Killed Me- I hate Lindsay Lohan. Not because she is a lez, not because every movie she is in she is way over sexed, it is because her voice is like nails on a chalkboard and she can't act for shit.
  • Lonesome Jim- By far my favorite of the bunch.  I really like Casey Affleck even if his brother is a douche-bag.  Steve Buscemi directs.  I laughed a lot.  I also love Mary Kay Place.  It isn't a comedy and it is a slow movie.  But I find "chronic despair" funny.  
Now I have to write a paper.  Boo-hiss! 

Thursday, September 18, 2008

I have recently discovered the error of my ways

HIgh Fructose Corn Syrup is the same as honey and sugar. High Fructose Corn Syrup is "natural". Did you also know that manufacturers use HFCS because of all the benefits? Not because it is cheap, but because it is so good. Don't believe me? Check out this great website from the Corn Refiners Association, Sweet Surprise.

Monday, September 15, 2008


Recently I watched There Will Be Blood I am not even sure what to say about it. . . I have sat here quietly for a while and the result is I have no words to express how slow and weird that movie was. Talk about over rated. I also watched Juno. This too is over rated. It was a cute movie. It wasn't bad, but "Best Movie of the Year? (There Will Be Blood was nominated for that category at the Oscars too. Where the choosers of the movies stoned?) Juno is just a high school movie that got a lot of big press. I am really hating the trend of independent movies becoming popular. There is a reason why independent movies are independent. It is because they aren't made for the idiot population. They don't make money with the themes, etc. Doesn't mean they aren't good it means that they are really good. I have always said you have to wade through a lot of shit to find a good movie, but it is so worth it. I think the populous wades through a modicrum of shit finds a decent one then parades it around like they are the Indie Queen of the world. Yes, we all know you are so fucking cool for watching a movie that doesn't star The Rock. But please go back to the hole you came from so the Independent movie doesn't get watered down. If that gets taken away from me I don't know what I would do with myself. I would have to watch independent independent movies. That is already a genre- Youtube.

Friday, September 12, 2008

do you ever wonder what happened to yourself?

Sometimes I think about a past me and I find myself so different now. Is that true? Have I changed? And why? I know it sounds ridiculous, but I think college has finally broken me. I used to find things interesting. I used to find a lot of things interesting. What's more I used to want to learn about things. Now I just want to hide under the bed for about 3 months while I recuperate. Granted I am almost done. I have 3 days before I can apply for graduation. One step closer. But I know it isn't the end. Kyle is sure that I will get into library school, but I am racked with nervousness.

The reason why I thought of this was because I miss crafting. My heart is aching. I haven't done something that I really enjoyed and been happy with the finally product in a long time.

Once upon a time life was fun. I think I need to quit school and go back to work at the craft store. Kyle says after school I should craft for a living. I'm not sure crafting is that lucrative. But I can hope. He is looking into buying a kiln. *He's dreamy* A glass and ceramic kiln. Amazing.

Once upon a time I wasn't constantly worrying about what I needed to do for tomorrow. Instead I had time to enjoy my life. I hate thinking about what needs to be done for next week, next month, next anything. I don't give a shit. Right now. Right now. I have decided that college isn't for learning information. It is for learning the skill of planning and thinking about what is to happen in the future weeks of your life. In short, college is an institution that makes your life miserable way after you get out.

Saturday, September 06, 2008

I cannot catch a fucking break

In order of least shitty:

Kyle and I play a little game. We try to find the worst thing on television and then turn it up really loud and see which of us crumbles first. Last night we watched the worst thing in the history of bad movies. Georgia Rule. Worst Movie Ever. They played a Ray LaMontagne song. Horrible. I almost cried. Then I created a scenario that he was starving and he had to eat so he sold them the song.

My mom is having surgery on Tuesday. She will not be able to go back to work for 2 plus weeks. He sister is coming to town to take care of her.

Sluggs had a seizure last night. He didn't wet himself so it wasn't a gran mal, but his eyes were open and he didn't seem to be able to see anything. His muscles were incredibly tense. It lasted for about 5 minutes and then he came back to us. We called the emergency vet and she asked if had gotten into any drugs or alcohol. I know this is a college town, but Sluggs isn't in a fraternity. It was so weird I'm am starting to wonder if this has ever happened before. We had been in bed for about thirty minutes and Kyle was almost asleep. I was watching a movie in bed. It was 2 o'clock and I looked over at Sluggs and his legs looked weird and I tried to wake him up but nothing happened. I thought he was just having a bad dream and moving his legs weird. I don't think I would have ever known had we already been asleep. When he woke up and his eyes were all over the place and he looked really scared and sniffing around like he didn't know where he was. He got off the bed and I was trying to talk to him and he was smelling around and then his whole body was stiff again and I held him and rocked him and talked to him while Kyle was on the phone with the vet. It was possibly the worst experience of my life. Kyle decided that he couldn't ever have children because it was too scary.

Oh, life. Cut me a break for a few weeks. Please.

Thursday, September 04, 2008


That is a Thank God It's Thursday. It doesn't quite have the same ring. How great it is that I my first full week of school has come and gone. The really great thing about school is that is passes time really fast. The bad thing is that time passes really fast and before I know it work piles up.

I have a serious amount of homework over my four day weekend.