Thursday, July 28, 2011

Exercise 'n' shit

My first week of weight loss competition I lost 3 pounds.  My waist is also 2" smaller.  I might add that I'm almost half way to 7 in just one week.

Half way through the second week, it is so much easier.  I'm not as hungry.  I'm not having as many wild ass cravings for things I don't usually eat.  I am, however, jonesing pretty hard for a hot dog.  Saturday is hot dog reward day.  I think about it often.  Rather than wanting to cry because I can't have something I have been planning out my rewards on Saturdays.  This Saturday hot dog, next Saturday Schlotzky's, Saturday after that pizza, so on and so forth.  I find it comforting.

Thursday, July 21, 2011

Detox week

So, first week of eating healthy.  It really sucks a huge fat dick.  I have really been staying strong.  I have been exercising twice a day (except today, I only worked out one time).  Tomorrow is my day off.  I'm excited.  Really excited.  The eating healthy has been much much harder.  I had a headache from Sunday to Tuesday.  Tuesday night it was so bad that for an hour in the evening before my ibuprofen started working I thought I would vomit.  Since then I have been having cravings.  Weird cravings that I n.e.v.e.r. have.  The last time I had a donut might have been a year ago.  I am craving donuts.  And sugar of all kinds.  Pie. Cinnamon rolls.  Chocolate.  Who fucking cares, I'll eat it.  My hunger is tripled by the fact that a. I'm exercising alot, b. I'm on my period, c. my caloric intake has been reduced significantly just based on the amount of fast food I'm not eating, that I'm desperate to eat anything. I know I am eating plenty of food,  but at any time I could go eat a meal at Whataburger. Food is for energy. Not for soothing myself.  I have to stay strong.  If I don't fold by then, which I don't think I will, I am going to eat a junior meal on Sunday. I can't wait.  I'm living for Sunday right now.  I'm on the day of detox when I'm starting to think fuck it, life isn't worth it.  That is not true.  Healthy food is perfectly fine.  It tastes good.  Why can't that be good enough. I can do this. I am stronger than my cravings.

Monday, July 18, 2011

Weight loss... or something similar

My friend and I made a little wager.  We are putting $50 on the line to see who can lose 7 pounds first.  Not that 7 pounds less Lauren is my goal weight or anything, that would make me 118 pounds.  However, I needed some motivation to eat right and exercise.  I have exercise goals I want to meet, but I was having a hell of a time getting back to the gym after almost a month off.

Things I'm doing to look like this:

  • Eating healthy.  Lean meats, eggs, lots of protein, vegetables, fruits, we all know what healthy food is.  
  • Exercising twice a day for at least 30 minutes.  I find I get a better workout if I split it up, instead of the last 30 minutes being shitty.  
  • Writing down everything that I eat.  I think this will make me accountable.  I'm not really sure if it will work.  And if nothing changes I will have an easy way to make diet changes.  
Day 1 was very successful.  I'm already getting sore though.  Hopefully I can keep up the exercise.  

Saturday, July 09, 2011

Say Anything

I'm so glad I have people in my life that I can say anything to.  (Or to whom I can say anything, if you want to get all cunty about your prepositions.) I'm a pretty weird kid.  Last night, me and a few friends spent the night a little tipsy and yelling out "fish" in an old man voice with a country accent.  Yeah, I'm that weird.  I find it totally acceptable, and by acceptable I mean hilarious, to yell out words repeatedly throughout the  evening if the joke was funny the first time.  And by hilarious I actually mean hilarious, I'm not talking hyperbole here.  I'm talking laughing until you cry, laughing so hard you can't yell the word out again because you can't get enough air into your lungs. I have come to realize that other people think that is funny too if they too have done a few drugs in their lifetime.

One person to whom I can say anything, Kyle and I have long, long running jokes.  For years we have been running these jokes into the ground.  That song about walking 500 miles for you, well, one day one of us (it was so many years ago now I don't remember which one of us, but it was most likely Kyle) sang the song with the lyrics "I would punch 500 cats for you."  I even remember that we were walking in the park.  I remember because  I was laughing so hard and it was really quiet and green.  The park is a lovely place to laugh.  I had a bad week this week and out of the blue I got a text that said "I would punch 500 cats for you if you built something to hold them."  Still funny after all these years.  (I'm hearing a Paul Simon song in my head right now. Apt.)

Sometimes I wonder if a person with a lot of authority in the field watched these interactions would they consider me, and I'll use the medical term, batshit crazy?

Back to the original point, even if a doctor would confirm I'm certifiable, my friends don't.  Or at least they laugh with me.  And they don't even blink when I yell out "beans", or "fish", or collapse into fits of laughter about a gallon jug of lube when it has been days since I have even seen said jug.

Wednesday, July 06, 2011

And suddenly every mistake I have ever made is illuminated so bright I think I might go blind.