Tuesday, November 30, 2010

The last day

I'm sick.
My car needs to be fixed.
I finished Corley and Casey's present for their wedding.
Obviously, pictures to follow once they have received gift.
I promised pictures of my plants. Here they are. Succulents.
That's all I got. See ya later assholes.

Oh wait, Treme- so so. Second season could be better. It got better towards the end. It's no The Wire. Yet.

Monday, November 29, 2010

I get so tired of life

Every little thing is a struggle. Why can't things be easy all the time with an occasional struggle instead of the other way around?

Well, there are a few things in my life that I have no problems with:

Loving Bucket, even when he is a wild asshole.
Loving my friends.
Tending to my plants.
I was going to say making things, but i don't want to go overboard. But on the whole it tends to lean to the easy side more than the struggle.

Sunday, November 28, 2010

There are only two days left

but I just want to say fuck it, and quit.

Dear god, people, there are only two days until DECEMBER. The year is over. Christmas. Fuck. Ugh. I'm not ready. Let's rewind to Halloween.

Saturday, November 27, 2010

Once upon a time

there was a girl, a beautiful girl. When this girl got mad she had to try very hard to not say things that would forever banish people from her kingdom.

Hopefully cooling off will help.

To be continued...

Friday, November 26, 2010

Ugh, is November over yet.

I should have known that making Lauren cake, also known as Sheet cake or Sheath Cake, would have made me eat it for breakfast and dinner. I do have other leftovers so I'm sure I won't eat it exclusively.

Thursday, November 25, 2010

Happy Thanksgiving!

Life is making it difficult to be thankful since I have hideous cramps. As per usual, mud butt is coupled with my craps. Particularly fun on Thanksgiving. A lot of food I don't usually eat scurrying out in quite a hurry. I wish I could go into a medicine induced coma for three days of every month.

I'm going to watch "Treme" until I pass out.

Wednesday, November 24, 2010

I am so dumb, for real.

First thing, I have a super sense of smell. I don't remember having this super power all my life. I think this is a recent development. I also think that it fluctuates with my hormones. I joked that as my hearing is going bad my sense of smell is taking up the slack. Casey said soon I would smell his voice.

That being what it is, my bathroom smells like piss to me all the time.

I knew that vinegar alone can significantly rid the carpet of dog urine smell. And for whatever reason I didn't try it in my toilet. What the fuck is wrong with me. I just now put that together. Guess what? It worked. Months. It took me months. I am so dumb. I am so dumb, for real.

Tuesday, November 23, 2010

I wasn't sure if I blogged today. So I looked at my blog to see when the last time I blogged was. Then, I realized that I don't fucking know what today is, so that really doesn't do any good.

That's all I got in me today. Will return tomorrow.

Monday, November 22, 2010

I'm traumatized from saving Bucket's head from the fence and hearing the noises that he was making. He is perfectly fine, but it takes a while for those chemicals to go away. I ran. No joke. My hands were shaking afterward. Then, just to get all the shitty things over at once, I gave him a bath and cut his nails.

Now, I'm so exhausted from the come down I feel like going to bed at 8:30.

My car may be fixed. It is a possibility that the connections to my battery were just really loose. Whatever it is, it isn't my alternator. Thank you car gods.

Sunday, November 21, 2010


I have had this picture on my desktop for months. This is a Netflix suggestion. See what you think.

I don't want to be awake anymore

I thought for sure this damn dog would sleep last night. He played all day. He barely napped. Big HUGE negative. The biggest. This was the worst sleep night ever.

I have to take a nap today. He was sleeping all day and sleeping a lot better at night. His growth spurt must have slowed down a little.

My car battery or alternator or something is bad. My car broke down at a red light. Everything totally sucks when you're tired. The car thing isn't that bad. It could be a lot worse, but just thinking about it wears me out. I'm just going to become a hermit, a recluse, or whatever you want to call a person who never leaves the house and is cranky all the time. I could go into the culdesac and be mean to high school kids. I could get about 10 more dogs and be the crazy dog lady.

I just remembered a dream I had last night. Sluggs had heartworms and was going to die. It was terrible.

Done with the non-sequetors this morning. I'm going to attempt to get this dog to sleep some more.

Saturday, November 20, 2010

The wedding

Put a little spit shine on me and I will turn all sorts of heads. I forget that all the time.


I have a wedding today. Hopefully I will have lots of fun pictures of the peacock preserve where the wedding is. Hopefully the sun will come out so I don't freeze to death. I'm having my makeup done professionally. For free. I don't want anybody to think that I would pay for something like that.

Friday, November 19, 2010


  • I found a bunch of old pictures on a random dvd. It was good, pictures of Grubb and Sluggs from 2 years ago.
  • I rearranged the living room. I moved a crappy book shelf from the bedroom into the living room. Turned it backwards and on its side underneath the window and put my inside plants on it. Then I glued paper to the back so you can't see the particle board. Pictures to follow, when the light is better.
  • I will be going to see Louis C.K. later this evening. I'm pretty excited about it.
  • Now, I must shower.

Holy Crap

It's freezing. If MP hadn't told me that there was freeze warning last night I probably would have had a lot of dead plants on my hands. I'm officially tired of winter.

I finished all of The Wire last night. I'm sad. I hate the search for something new to watch while I knit.

Thursday, November 18, 2010


I think I may be harboring secret resentment of a whole lot of things that I just don't know about. I think my short term memory is so bad that these feeling are going on and then all of a sudden I remember what for when the long term memory kicks in. Is that possible? Here's why I think that, last night I thought of some stupid shit that happened over a year ago, then I thought, shit that still stings. I hadn't thought about it since it happened but maybe I'm reacting to it without knowing. Eh. Who knows? I'm probably just a bitch.

Wednesday, November 17, 2010


I have cried since I got Bucket just thinking about Grubb at this age. Sometimes I think how pissed off he would be at me for getting a puppy. He hated puppies. A puppy would walk up to him, he would walk away, every time. He never gave in. Kyle used to make fun of me that I needed a papoose for Grubb. I would get all excited and say if Grubb would let me do that I would be all over that shit. Bucket lets me. It is like my dream come true. For real.

I feel good again. Not all the time, let's not go overboard, but I feel good sometimes. Last night I couldn't sleep. Who knows why, but as I lay there wired as all hell (oh, I just realized I drank a Dublin Dr. Pepper right before bed, duh) I felt good. Of course, the shit eater went to bed at 11 and slept all night, until 7 in the morning (thank you, pug!). I could have gotten a full 8 and I wasted and hour and half laying there not miserable. I guess it wasn't that big of a waste.

Tuesday, November 16, 2010


Where are all my peeps at? I don't mean those sugar covered sugar balls at Easter either. I believe there were a handful of assholes that said they were going to be posting interesting things everyday. Fail.

I think I forgot to brush me teeth today. Epic Fail.

One more thing

About The Wire. Since we both know that is all I do all day. Season 4 is rounding to a close today. I swear to god I am thinking in gangster talk. I'm pretty sure I'm dreaming in Ebonics. You know it be, popped into my head. Of course it didn't actually come out, because as soon as I thought it, right behind that was, What the fuck. I'm sure in my subconscious there are tons of Laurens in their "Tupac hats" and wife beaters grabbing their crotches and telling mother fuckers to step off.

The problem with Season 4 is that they are focusing on a middle school. So it is breaking my heart. I actually cried. The fucked up thing is, when I know something really bad is happening to a kid I don't cry, but when a person helps that kid I cry. That is so backwards. Every episode I keep thinking that one of the kids is going to get killed. I don't want it to happen. I don't want Omar to get killed. I feel both are coming. Then again, I have had the feeling that Bubbles was going to die in the first season and here he is in season 4. My instincts are all wrong with this show. They throw me for a loop. Awesome.

Monday, November 15, 2010

I love Omar

Omar is a character from The Wire. He steals from drug dealers. Nobody's stash is safe. He uses a shotgun for these "capers" and whistles "The Farmer and the Dell" when he is coming. Every time he walks down the street, be it in his black duster or his teal silk jammies, people start yelling, "Omar's coming" and then they scatter like roaches. He is a bad mother fucker. Yet, he cries when thinking about the old days, and how the game has changed. He has a number of bodies on him, including one of the hardest cats in town. And the kicker... He is out and proud. Love. Love. Love It.

Sunday, November 14, 2010

Went to a Party

I got home feeling really bad. I was on the verge of vomiting. Now, when I was drinking this would have been perfectly normal. Since, I'm sober now, there was really no call for it. I thought I would remedy the situation with sleep. At 8 when the cream puff woke up I felt okay. Then I went to hang out in the living room and sneezed a sneeze that made me gag. There was no going back after that. I vomited stuffing. For some reason it tasted like bacon flavor.

I think I will have to stop going to parties in order to cure my hangovers.

Saturday, November 13, 2010


So I missed a day. Fuck it.

When I was a kid, whenever I would go anywhere with my mom or my dad we would always, always run into people they knew. I always thought it was so weird. Plus, we would have to stop and talk and it was really boring. I have turned into that person. Austin is such a small town. At the C & C Bachelor/ette Party, at a bowling alley, I ran into a guy that I went to elementary school with. That is big shit. I went to a tiny private school. He was one of the 4 people in my 5th grade class. At the Ray LaMontagne concert last night I was sitting next to a woman I went to high school with. I didn't know her name only that she looked familiar. Since we were the only people on the second balcony and sitting right next to one another we started talking. I said the usual, "I know you." She said, "I thought you looked familiar, but I figure you would think I was crazy." She graduated in my class. Not as big a shit because there we a lot more people than 4 who graduated from my high school. Though, there were a lot of people at the show and what are the chances that she would sit next to me in the second balcony.

Ray LaMontagne was fucking phenomenal. I wanted it to last SO much longer. He could have easily done a two and half hour show. There was an opening act, The Secret Sisters, who were good. They played for 20 minutes, then there was a 30 minute break. There was NO stage set up. I could have used 30 more minutes of Ray. After him there was another 30 minute break. Um, more Ray. There were horns. At one point there were at least 15 people on stage in the band. Plus, he plays the harmonica. Mighty fine, I might add. Easily the best performance I have ever seen.

Thursday, November 11, 2010

So addicted to The Wire. Trying to peel myself away from the computer. Just not happening. Have to get back to the last episode of season 2.
I have nothing to say. I'll try again later.

Wednesday, November 10, 2010


My back hurts! Shooting pain out of no where while I was stretching. Blows. I'm attempting to stretch it out. First I will load up on ibuprofen and tea. The tea isn't helping with my back, I'm just thirsty.

Bucket is growing at a break neck pace. The vet did say he was about one meal away from weighing 16 pounds, when he weighed 6. It is true. He has gotten so much bigger. He feels different when I pick him up. He has so much more energy, more than last week, certainly more than Grubb when he was a puppy. I'm going to start giving him benadryl so I can get some rest. Kidding.

Tuesday, November 09, 2010


I'm so happy to have a camera back. I'm all up in flickr's shit. Just in case you forgot, I'm a crafty bitch (with a puppy).

New topic: I'm coming up on completion of a pretty amazing present I have constructed by hand for Corley and Casey's wedding. Yeah, yeah I realize that there wedding was a month ago. Well worth the wait. I can't wait until they get it so I can post pictures. That totally came around to my other topic. Good job, Lauren.

Monday, November 08, 2010


I need something to help me remember things. I wish I could get a pop up on my eyeball that only I could see that reminded me of things I have planned. For instance, I am so afraid I am going to forget that Friday I see Ray LaMontagne. This weekend and next I have plans for Friday and Saturday. It is nerve racking. I keep looking at the calendar. I'm checking to see what day it is. That's right. I never know what day it is. Sometimes I have to check more than once a day. It feels like somebody tipped time and I'm sliding downhill through days faster than usual. You may think I'm overreacting, but Halloween weekend I forgot to volunteer. Five hours past when I should have gone in I finally realized it. It totally slipped my mind.

Sunday, November 07, 2010

I thought I had slept until 10 today

I hate time change. As if I'm not miserable enough. Now time has to turn around and get all different. Bitch. I'm ready for lunch.

Saturday, November 06, 2010

5 Hours

The countdown to sleeping all night begins.

Friday, November 05, 2010

To be a new mother:

Let's talk about my diet. Now, this isn't strictly new motherhood for me, but Sheath cake for breakfast and dinner is a little ridiculous.

I got TWO FOUR hour stints of sleep last night. It makes me feel so much better than the four two hour naps I had been getting.

I can't wait for Bucket to be a real dog, instead of this pissing and shitting nightmare that wants to ruin all my things. It won't be long now. He is whip smart and almost has the sit command down.

I bought him a chew toy from my neighborhood pet store. It is called a "bully stick". It is cow penis. I could actually get stuff done. When I left the room and came back there was no question in my mind what he would be doing. Of course, the moistened bull dick smells like a foot died and now the sour, rotting thing is being chewed on to release more of the smell. It can smell up a room. Gross. He loves it. He has a vet appointment today, but when we get back we will see how he likes pig snout.

I never thought I would say this, but I am enjoying the hell out of this cold weather. Bucket gets under the covers with me and snuggles. I love it.

Thursday, November 04, 2010

It was bound to happen

I woke up this morning to Bucket walking towards me. He made it almost to my face, which seemed to be his final destination. When I realized something was funny about that, it dawned on me that he probably peed somewhere. I did some investigative work. My great fear was that it was on the bed. It is good for me that Bucket is such a good dog, because sleep deprived detective work is really shitty. I found the pee spot. He made it to the bedroom door. I was so proud. Granted, if he would have gone another foot he would have not been on carpet, but it was about as far from the bed as possible. Score one for Bucket.

I hope y'all are prepared for picture weekend!!!! Bucket pictures will abound!

Wednesday, November 03, 2010

It's weird

Sometimes I think of what I was doing last year at this time. It's weird. A little more than 365 days ago I was in a dark, hookah bar in Korea. Had someone told me five years ago that I would have this photo opportunity I would have not believed it. I might have even called that person crazy.

Tuesday, November 02, 2010


I'm never using shampoo again. Yeah. I said it. I love not washing my hair. There are days when it looks like I need to wash my hair, but hell, what do I care. I also saw a picture of myself with really really short hair and wanted to cut all my hair off again. If only I could get ahold of my stylist.

Monday, November 01, 2010

Oh, puppy mornings

Today, I will sleep when the dog sleeps. In his waking hours, I will chase him around making sure he doesn't pee on everything. The whole peeing and sleeping situation is agony. But when he curls up beside me to chew on a bone= bliss.

Bad mother alert: I start out letting Bucket sleep on me so he falls asleep so I can then lay him down in the crate, but in my sleep deprived haze I pass out. I usually wake up to him wiggling. He inches forward and inches forward. Usually this leads to him being on my pillow. But last night he fell off the bed. Granted, the bed is only 4 inches off the ground and a kleenex box broke his fall. It didn't seem to faze him except for the fact that he wasn't on the bed anymore. I still felt bad about it.