School work

Why is it so damned hard to start a paper?  I cannot make myself do anything on my research paper.  In order to escape the pain of sitting and looking at a blank page I start cleaning.  Decidedly more productive than just sitting, which is what I would be doing.  

Lunch

I'm about to go to lunch with a friend of my mom's.  They hadn't seen each other in about 20 years and they had dinner.  Now she wants me to see him.  And him to see me because he can only think of my as the five year old.  Seeing me might put him in shock.  I really don't want to go, but I'm hungry.  

That wasn't a good story.  The end. 

thanksgiving

Kyle's dad went to thanksgiving.  He was very tired at the end of the day.  I'm glad he was able to come.  Kyle's new nephew looks just like a cabbage patch kid.  My mom decided this and she is so right.  He has the roundest little head you ever saw.  

My week is over

I only had one day of school this week.  Thank god, because I have so much to do.  Did I mention that I hate the holidays.  My mom is coming with us to Kyle's family's Thanksgiving.  That ought to be a blast.  For some reason we are going to Kyle's aunt's house in Temple.  Most of the family lives in Austin or Georgetown.  The most important person, Kyle's dad, lives in Georgetown.  Since he is recovering from chemo and still isn't up to full speed he may not be up to making the 45 minute drive to Temple.  So that means that if he is having a bad day he will sit at home alone all day on Thanksgiving.  

If you are anything like me right now you are going, What the fuck? You could just have lunch at Meemaw's! 

I don't make the decisions.  If I did a lot of things would be different.  I can feel my blood pressure rise.  I try to forget.  I try to ignore.  It makes my life easier.  I'll put on a smile and keep food in my mouth.  

Wait

My commitment to the party is giving me mild panic attacks.  Not to mention the fact that I am having a terrible time making myself sit down and write the papers that I have due.  Also, a lot more people are coming to my party than I originally thought, for instance my grandmother is coming from Lubbock, my great aunt and aunt are coming from Fort Worth, my other aunt.  I'm not sure my house is big enough.  

Changing the subject.

We got a flyer for a community gathering.  On the list of things that will be going on is meeting your neighbor, having sausage wraps, learning about sex offenders in our neighborhood.  What?  So I was curious and looked up the sex offenders in my neighborhood on the online registry.  Damn, there are a lot.  Approximately 10-20.  I'm way too old for any sex offender on the registry, approximately 10-20 years older.  But one guy on the list caught my eye.  Where the address is supposed to be listed it said "Transient".  Is that guy on every neighborhood list? Or did he register just a zip code?  

Taking a tangent route here. 

I'm reading "Reefer Madness" which is very good.  Did you know that in some states rapist, murders, and child molesters get lesser sentences than a person caught with marijuana?  True story.  Sad despicable story, but true never the less.  

It's Official

I'm having a graduation party!  If I don't have your email address and you are interested in driving to north Austin on the 6th of December to get krunk at my house party contact me.  I'm pretty sure I emailed everyone (except Casey but he is invited through Corley).  Jessica's invited if you're brave enough.  It will mostly be my fam and family friends. My mom AND dad might be in the same house.  Yowza! It scares me, but they need the practice for my wedding.  

About last night

So I performed my poem yesterday.  I looked like this. 

For whatever reason a couple of kids from class all thought it would be a good idea to go drinking afterwards.  Since I didn't have to go to the class following I thought, Why not? The original plan was to have a beer or two at The Dog and Duck and go back to my last class. We started drinking at 3 in the afternoon. After approximately 5 pints of beer (at 6) we walked to Drungo about 10 blocks away.  I stopped drinking.  When we all started to sober up we walked to Dirty's a greasy burger joint.  I did not eat.  At that point it was 8:30 and I was hung over.  At 9 I drove myself home.  On the way I was pretty certain that I was going to vomit.  Luckily all I had to do was role the window down and I would cool off and feel okay. Then I would get too cold.  Then I would feel like I was going to puke.  It went on like that for the whole 20 minutes.  When I finally made it home I took a shower.  Which made me feel a lot better but it didn't keep me from puking twice.  And I slept like shit.  

A whole night of wearing that dress made my arm look like this.  

That is a bruise.  It hurts.  Foam dress of death.  I have to admit it was pretty foxy though.  

Two Things

One, the weather is wonderful.   Just cool enough to not use the air conditioning and warm enough to heat the house during the day so it isn't cold at night. 

Two, gas is soo cheap.  I can fill my take for less that $30! I wish gas prices would go down to what they were when I first started driving.  One dollar a gallon.  

One more thing, okay?  I got tattooed on my stomach.  It is swollen.  I knew this would happen.   It isn't that big of a deal when the swelling is in your arm, but when it is on your stomach directly above your pubic hair (in fact some of my pubic hair was shaved )  swelling is no good.  Since you can't really elevate that area the swelling. . . falls?  I can't think of another way to describe the fact that it begins in one spot and drifts lower with gravity.  I swear.  Tomorrow the swelling will be, well you know where the swelling will be.  I don't have to be graphic.  Underwear is a chore.  So is sitting.  So are clothes.  So is sleeping.  You get the point.  Yesterday I had to jog across the street and my stomach was shaking.  That doesn't normally happen.  Swelling and jiggling really painfully bad combo.  

My next tattoo, I'm getting a chili dog.  I'm totally serious.  

The funniest thing in the world

I don't know if I've told you this, but the text message is the thing that will bring down our civilization.  Maybe I'm being a little dramatic, but I definitely see signs that people will be using more and more of it, and that it is really stupid.  Don't text the person you are fucking outside of  your relationship.  Stupid idea. If you do you will inevitably forget to erase one and then where will you be.  I'll tell you- up shit creek. 

Also, don't walk and text. Really stupid idea.  As I was leaving class today I saw a girl fall on her face, literally, because she was texting.  Don't worry- I held the laugh in.  She didn't hurt herself she just scratched her hand a little.  Her phone was okay she protected that baby like a drunk with some booze.  She had nothing to break her fall but her shoulder.  If she had 1 been watching were she was going it never would have happened and 2 had her hands free she probably wouldn't have fallen all the way down.  

I get that occasionally you need to send a text.  Really.  I do occasionally.  But it doesn't consume my life so that I can't take 4 minutes out of my busy texting schedule to walk across campus safely.  What is so important?  

Well, it's that time of year again kids.

The time when life really sucks, people are pulling you fourteen different ways, and your idea of good time is taking copious amounts of sedatives. You guessed it, the end of the semester squash. Why is that every single fucking professor waits to the very last minute to hit you with the biggest, most heavily weighted crap at the very end? I'm starting to think they don't know that other professors are doing it too. 

I am on edge. That is an understatement. I've also got a hefty dose of the P-M-S. On Monday I tell Kyle, "I think I'm going to start my period soon." His response, "You'll start on Wednesday. You always start your period on Wednesday." I give him a look that means: What? Really? He then says, "Yeah it's a full moon, too." You may not know this about me, but I'm a werewolf. Brings a whole new level to "Bitch", doesn't it.  

Here is full force of my schedule.  

Next Week:
Tuesday  

• Annotated Bibliography Due with AT LEAST 8 references 
  
• Write research proposal that satisfies my professor which I can't seem to do 
• Sociology Test (must finish reading Big Money Crime) 
• Read about 5 articles (I haven't even glanced to see how long they are) 

Thursday

• Perform Poem ( I am filled with so much dread I can't begin to describe) 

Thanksgiving Week

• Turn in an exercise in my surveillance class 
• Write a 2 page paper about the English Department  and what I learned 
• Write a 2-3 page paper about my performance and what I learned 
• Work like hell and read A Lot!

Last Week of School 

• 8 page analysis of a theme in Whitman's poetry
• 11 page research paper 
• Sociology Test (Must read Reefer Madness by Eric Schlosser before test) 
• Children's Literature Test 
• Clean my house so that I can have a party? 
• Pack for vacation 

I swear to you, just looking at this kinda triggers my gag reflex.  That could be the giant pit of despair and misery in my stomach.  Or heartburn.  

Today

Exercise is my new masochistic adventure. I don't know if it was the lack of oxygen or the endorphins from the searing pain the the back of my thighs, but I was feeling kinda high.

Kyle and I have been walking and running on the days I don't have school. But he didn't come with me today and I pushed myself really hard. My legs were still sore from Friday's workout.

Conversation at my house a couple of weeks ago:

Me: I wish I was more toned.
Kyle: Do you?
Me: Yeah I used to be firm. I'm not as skinny as I used to be.
Kyle: You aren't as young as you used to be either.
Me: Oh, thank you.


I'm both fat and old. Nice.

IFC

The Whitest Kids U' Know is a funny show.


This is how Kyle and I interact. The funniest thing is that I'm not kidding and it's only a small exaggeration.



I think the guy is really cute. He reminds me a lot of Kyle.

That clip didn't do it for you? How about getting high with dinosaurs? Guaranteed to impress!

More Reading

Today and tomorrow is the Texas Book Festival. I'm thinking of going. This weekend I read Number the Stars and Because of Winn-Dixie. Those along with Bridge to Terabithia is a little too much for one weekend. I still have to do my other homework. Not excited about that. Kyle and I have been going to the library on Sunday's. It is really nice.