March 31st

Dear Diary,

I want a vacation. BAD. I would like to get on a plane to some secluded beach and drink for about 9 days. Fuck it. It doesn't even have to be secluded right now I would go to Port Aransas and lay on that dirty beach. If I'm drinking anyway I might as well just drink until I don't know where I am.

I really really really want to see the rainforests of South East Asia. Borneo, Malaysia, New Guinea, etc. I don't think that will happen any time soon.

Disheartened,

I almost forgot again

I hate basketball. Hate it. Despise it. Watching it on TV is beyond boring. Playing basketball instead regularly scheduled programming is horrible. I work hard all day long. Is it a crime to want to come home and sit and stare at some bullshit crime drama on the TV in order to relax a little? But NO, the only thing I can watch is some tall rich guys playing with their balls and slapping each other on the ass. I'm not into that man on man shit.

That isn't the only thing that bothers me about basketball. When some irritating neighbor kid is bouncing a basketball up and down the street over and over and over again I want to turn into the person that screams at kids to get out their lawn. It is the most annoying sound in the world. It always takes me 10 minutes just to realize what the hell is going on outside. But when I do. Oh. Oh. It makes my skin crawl.

Old Men Without A Country

I have to put in my $1.45 about No Country for Old Men.

You may not want to read if you haven't seen the movie. Spoiler.

Its a movie. You have to watch and actually pay attention to get it. Listening and watching are important to the medium. Not all movies are pieces of trash that you look at and understand. That's boring. The movie is about details- little details. If you haven't noticed half way through the movie you aren't watching an action movie, you got it all wrong. You better just pack up your shit and leave the theater. Stop the DVD and start over or try again later. You may be saying to yourself, "You crazy bitch that was an action movie." Maybe you jumped out of your seat. Maybe you were thrilled. But that was no action movie. The movie was simply wearing an action movie suit. What you were really watching was in introspective movie about a good ol' boy getting old and worn down by life. (I love a simple story about a good ol' boy. It the Texas in me. I also like movies about Texas.) Dora the Explorer and Tommy Lee Jones were dueling the whole time. They even have a stand-off of sorts. Llewelyn was only the side story. The side story was exciting, but beside the point.

If you haven't "figured it out" (as if there is some secret code) maybe the title would help you.

I played hooky today

Where do you think that saying came from? What the hell is "hooky"? It sounds like new slang for prostitution. I slept until noon. It was some kinda wonderful. Yes it is. I said some kinda wonderful. I woke up and my neck hurt and I was thinking about a list of things I had some how sprouted in my dream. The only one I can remember clearly is 15 shark fins. The others were some sort of ocean creature body parts. Maybe Nablopomo is getting to me.

Changing the subject.

I want a working record player.
You know I want a Polaroid camera, but I hear Polaroid isn't going to make the film anymore.
I need to schedule my GRE General Test. That is $140 I'm just itching to spend.
I need to pick up my birth control refill tomorrow. That will be $60.
I have an $18 bill from the health center that I owe that I keep forgetting to pay. I better do that quick before registration.

Can you believe it is almost April? Apparently, time flies when you are miserable too. I can't wait for summer! Summer school here I come.

Whoops!

I forgot to post yesterday.

I have way, way, way to much on my plate. My head is ready to explode. I hate this feeling. I just can't catch up. I'm constantly running just to break even. Then I will have a tremendous amount of crap dropped on me when I wasn't expecting it.

It happens every week.

Senility or Bust!

I swear I'm losing my mind. I'm losing words. I've been losing my memory for some time. When I can't remember something I don't have the middle of the night wake-you-up-out-of-your-sleep -realization. Chances are I haven't remembered that I forgot anything. Yeah. I constantly have to write things down or repeat things to myself (the latter is usually ineffective). I'm pretty sure that all of it is due to over stimulation. Then the question is Will there ever be a time in my life when I won't be over stimulated? Probably not if I stay in the U.S.

I had this idea that big business and the government use stress and over stimulation as a tool to keep you malleable and apathetic. It works perfect because your to tired to speak up about things you don't like and you will forget shortly enough anyways. Covert manipulation at its finest.

I'm going to Texas Thrift Store today

I'm cashing my $200 and buying clothes. That's why I was given the money. Specific instructions to buy some jeans and some shirts, socks and underwear. I was dressed like I hadn't bought any clothes in about a year. I hadn't really and when I say "I" that means my mom bought me a pair of shorts last summer. I did buy a jersey dress around August and it was stolen from my luggage on the way back from vacation.

Crossing my fingers I will find everything I want including a wide, navy, patent leather belt for a dress I am thinking of altering.

Wish me luck.

Yesterday

Some things changed right after I claimed nothing had changed. The police came knocking on our door. They were looking for our favorite neighbor, Jose, who is wanted for attempted robbery. Turns out he has some aliases. Isn't that just lovely.

Now let me tell you all about robbery since it is one of the many topics I took a test on today.

1. Robbery- the use or threat of force to obtain money or property
2. Robbery is a crime of direct confrontation.
3. Most robbers are violent people.
   
4. You are more likely to be injured if you resist (don't resist).
   
5. You are more likely to be injured if the robber has NO weapon (because you are more likely to resist).
6. 40% are committed with gun, 20% with a knife, and 40% with no weapon.
   
7. Prison time for robbery is up to life in prison.
   

Nothing has changed since yesterday.

I almost forgot to post something today

I have two tests on Thursday.

They are making:

- my face break out
- and giving me heartburn

Longest List Ever

Movies from my Netflix queue:

• Tideland
• Miranda
• Made
• Blood Diamond
• The Prestige
• The Pledge
• For Your Consideration
• Friends with Money
• Thumbsucker
• A Prairie Home Companion
• American Gun
• Green Street Hooligans
• Barton Fink
• Miller’s Crossing
• House of D
• Pieces of April
• The Salton Sea
• Notes on a Scandal
• Stranger than Fiction
• Winter Passing
• Little Children
• The Painted Veil
• Planet Earth: Complete Collection: Disc 1-5
• Babel
• Cheeky!
• El Topo
• Re-Animator
• Nature: Reptiles: Snakes and Lizards
• Deep Blue
• Glengarry Glen Ross
• Weeds: Season 2: Disc 1-2
• Jackie Woodman: Season 1: Disc 1-2
• Inland Empire
• Aqua Teen Hunger Force Colon Movie
• The OH in Ohio
• The Lives of Others
• Broken English
• The Red Shoes
• Hard Candy
• Abominable Dr. Phibes/ Phibes Rises
• Vincent Price Gift Set: Vol. 1: Bonus
• Bad Education
• The Flower of My Secret
• Dark Habits
• What Have I Done to Deserve This?
• Live Flesh
• My Life Without Me
• Red Road
• Wilde
• Tales from the Crypt: Season 4: Disc 1-3
• Tales from the Crypt: Season 5: Disc 1-3
• One More Kiss
• When Night is Falling
• I’ve Heard the Mermaids Singing
• Superbad
• Corpse Bride
• This Girl’s Life
• No Country for Old Men
• F**k
• Mysterious Skin
• Acts of Worship
• The United States of Leland
• Happy Endings
• Stay
• Sweeney Todd
• The Watcher in the Woods
• Love the Hard Way
• Shortbus
• The Darjeeling Limited
• Blue State
• Through a Glass Darkly
• Crazy/ Beautiful
• The Unbearable Lightness of Being
• Atonement
• Bram Stoker’s Dracula
• House on Haunted Hill
• House of Wax
• The Haunting
• Audrey Rose
• The Red Violin
• Wide Sargasso Sea
• 9 ½ Weeks
• Mrs. Parker and the Vicious Circle
• The Celluloid Closet
• Futurama the Movie: Bender’s Big Score
• Kinky Boots
• Allen Ginsberg: An Elegy
• The U.S. vs. John Lennon
• Jesus Camp
• Entourage: Season 3: Part 2: Disc 1-2
• A Home at the End of the World
• Show Me Love
• Crazy Love
• Oldboy

103


Saved (Movies that haven't come out on DVD yet or movies that were lost that they don't have anymore) :

• Juno
• The Diving Bell and the Butterfly
• The Savages
• Fright Fest: Vincent Price
• Living Planet: Disc 1
• The L Word: Season 5
• The Pit and the Pendulum
• The Unforeseen

Things we cooked today:

BBQ Chicken
Caramelized Onions
Greens
Deviled Eggs
Brownies
Banana Bread

Yum!

Today I went to my dad's house

I always come back with things. Here is the list:

• 2 Handmade quilts
• 2 packages of vermicelli Asian type noodles
• homemade plum jelly
• home grown baby bok choy
• home grown swiss chard
• home grown onion
• Sonny Barger book
• $200
• a sewing pattern for a really cute jersey tube top

Then I stopped at Kyle's parents on the way home and got:

• carpet cleaner
• Half Price Book coupons

Somewhere between the two I got heartburn!

It's hot

Music I want:I'm in that mood were all my music makes me sick to my stomach because I've heard it so much.

Brand New Music:
She & Him. Zooey Deschanel as singer. Cutest girl in the whole world's voice is pretty fabulous. A lot fabulous actually.

I have no idea what day it is

It is beginning to be confusing. I do , however, know that I'm up at 7:30 in the morning for god knows why. I also know that blogger says that I posted twice on the 7th and no times on the 8th, which is a giant error. Friday I had no bananas. I have TWO witnesses. So unless I went through a time warp on Saturday to write a blog on Friday something went terribly wrong. I saved some of the post. Maybe I posted on accident then went back and changed it. (Ha! I just spelled "accident" in Spanish.) Not to worried about it.

I also know that Grubb will not sleep in the bed without me. He isn't capable. Kyle and Sluggs seem to have no problem with it. Sluggs especially has no problem with it every morning he wakes up goes to pee then runs, yes runs, back to bed.

I love The L Word

Reasons 1-20:



I love Shane, the androgynous one. It doesn't hurt that Carmen has a wicked body.

I'm tired of blogging

I'm running out of things to say. Maybe I'll list the movies on my netflix queue tomorrow. The biggest list ever.

Keys to the perfect day:

1. being alone
2. listening to the rain
3. and Leonard Cohen
4. bananas,bananas, bananas
   

For tomorrow...

• wake up at reasonable time
  
• do the dishes
• dehydrate 40 pounds of bananas
• look up recipe for banana bread
• sew clothes pin hanger while waiting for bananas to dry
• call mom
• read at least one chapter from criminology text while waiting for bananas to dry
• watch movie
• look up recipe for brownies
• work on scrapbook
  

Some things I haven't told you

• Last week Kyle came home from work early because "I got injured". He looked fine. He says he has hit his head. It is bleeding and swollen on the top of his head close to his forehead in his hair. He hit his head on a carport leaving some apartment complex. He hit it so hard he is bleeding and he had a baseball cap on. After I looked for symptoms of concussions on-line, he tells me he has to go back and fix the trim he broke. That is when I started shaking. He said he went back to the guys house he delivered to because blood was dripping from his head and they guy asked if he needed to call the ambulance. Kyle just wanted something to wipe his head with and to use the mirror. Then the guy tells him, "I'm going to have to report the damage to the apartment manager." I wouldn't let him leave the house without cleaning the wound. I was pissed off and just about ready to call that guy and the apartment and tell them where they can shove the broken piece of trim and give them a little lesson in it too. So Kyle went back and fixed it. I went with him to see the damage. The car port is such a piece of shit that it shakes in the breeze. Kyle has broken a 4 foot piece of trim off. It is dangling by the paint. He can't put a nail in it because the wood is so thin. He pushes it back up there and we leave. I still wanted to sue.
  

• I have 160 pounds of bananas in my living room.

• Leaving the polling place I see a woman trying to push a three wheeled, running stroller up the stairs. I ask if she needs some help. She says no that she has changed her plan. Kyle chimes in with, "Go up the ramp?" She says, "I'll just park her here." I crack a smile and raise my eyebrows. It takes her about three seconds before she says, "Not her. Her as in the stroller. Her like a boat." I started laughing. She starts talking fast like she is embarrassed.
  

• I'm dying to read any book by Sonny Barger, leader of the Hell's Angels.
  

• I'm planning on sewing a little bag to keep my clothes pins in for the clothes line over the break. Wish me luck.

• I may go to the book store to see if I can find a Sonny Barger book. I think that is a good idea.
  

• I want a Polaroid camera.
  

Grubb's favorite toys (in no particular order)

Pig

Shark

The one we call "red baby"

He sucks on them, and falls asleep with them in his mouth. They smell. I can't wash them because they all have holes in them. Red baby is Grubb's oldest toy. He has had it since Febuary of '02. It was a Valentine's Day present. If you pick up any one of the toys he grabs it and runs to the bedroom for night-night time. It's the cutest damn thing you have ever seen.

I have messy handwriting

Okay, so maybe they won't change your life, but they may be some of the best movies you have ever seen.

Current Events

• Still working on this god damned paper and sick and tired of it.
• 3 days and counting until SPRING BREAK!
• I made an easy A on my first Spanish test of the semester. I didn't make a single grammar error. Thank god for subjunctive and perfect mood.
• I voted today.
• Tonight is my tv night. I will watch Biggest Loser and Law and Order: SVU while studying for a Spanish vocab quiz.
• Yesterday, I contemplated having a beer before school then thought better of it. I think my brain has already gone to South Padre. I can just see her there running a muck, drinking too much. Next thing you know she'll be in a Brains Gone Wild video and subsequently be embarrassed for the rest of her life.
  

Until tomorrow,

Giant Candy List

• Sour Patch Kids
• All manner of Hugs and Kisses
• Dark Chocolate Dove Hearts
  
• Peanut Butter Cups
• Sonic Mint
• Mini Mr. Goodbar
• Mini Krackle
• Mini Milk Chocolate Bar
• Mini Dark Chocolate Bar
• Sweet Tarts (in the blue heart)
  

The Garden!!!!!!

Kyle drew this map of the garden with the list of all that will be planted. (It makes my heart hurt it is so damn cute. I love his symbols for everything.)

Also being grown this spring:

• Blackberries
• Raspberries
• Blueberries

Weirdest Story of the Week

It is 5:30 in the morning and someone is ringing our door bell. On a Saturday. What the fuck? Who is it? The neighbor? This guy is involved in some obviously illegal shit. He asks Kyle to take him to 183 and Duval. He and his old lady are fighting, he's crying and she has called the cops (he says the cops never showed). He doesn't want to go to jail. Kyle says yes. I can't go back to sleep. I'm envisioning this guy telling Kyle to stop the car and making him get out. So I tell Kyle to call me if he isn't home in 30 minutes. I briefly panic when he is gone, "Fuck, I have no idea what Kyle's license plate number is and the neighbors name is Jose. Jose. That narrows it down to about 20,000 people." He called me in 15 to tell me he was on his way home. It took exactly 30 minutes. Then we couldn't go to sleep so we talked about having more knock-down-drag-out fights. Tonight we are going to pick up a 48 pack of beer and see who gets meaner first. My money's on Grubb. Wanna come over for the fun?

It's March 1st, right?

My grocery list. Kyle and I have both added to it.

I'm in the midst of writing a seven page paper on The Call of the Wild so I can't hang around.

Until tomorrow.

Obstinately yours,