GIANT SLUMP!

I am totally useless. Thanksgiving was a horrible injustice. I haven't done a damn thing since. I am so over school. I have been either jelly headed or lazy or both. The only thing I have done since Thanksgiving is my math homework. Then I went to school with the wrong folder so I couldn't turn it in. That makes me an incredible asshole. I feel like I have done all this work, and now the wind has caught it and carrying it far, far away.

On the brighter side, my British Novel in the 20th century teacher came to me in class while we were watching a movie and whispered in my ear (she is a woman and this wasn't at all weird like it sounds) that I was a great. She really enjoyed me being in her class and she loved to come to class everyday and see my face and hear my comments and they were just great and that I made her semester. Isn't that sweet?

I believe tonight I will ruin myself for tomorrow by going to the Alamo Draft House and seeing a free horror movie at midnight with some tattoo friends.

So long school. I will be rid of you for a short time in one week.

I'm so mad I could spit

It would be fiery. I only have seven more Spanish classes. Yes, it is so bad I am counting down. I feel a little better and a littler worse because I posted a seething online course survey a few minutes ago. Better, because I got to ream her. Worse, because I didn't get to say everything I wanted to get off my chest. 450 characters just wasn't enough.

I know you don't want to hear about it. Frankly, I'm tired of talking about it. BUT damn it. I pissed. It has come to the point were I want to stand up in class and say, "What the fuck is your problem, bitch?" I know class will only get worse. I can't figure out what she wants from me, but apparently I upset her through other people. Doesn't that sound ridiculous?

Example: Today we brought in our homework assignment. It was a one page, double-spaced paper (in Spanish) about what the problems of the world are and how artists influence change. We get into groups of four. We then trade papers and everyone is supposed to mark the errors they find (not correct them just mark them). Well, she sees my paper hasn't been marked. She tells them to trade and read it. They say they can't find any errors. She looks at me and asks me if I don't have any errors. Naturally, I tell her I don't know. I'm not correcting my paper. That wasn't the assignment. She then reads the paper for a few minutes, looks at ME for reasons I can't explain and proceeds to tell me there are at least 10 errors that she has found. (The reason they can't find errors is that Kyle has read and helped me correct my paper. If there are errors they are small and way beyond me or anyone else's Spanish in the class. That is why we are in the damn class.) I left really pissed.

Why was I getting reprimanded for having a good paper? Have you ever heard of teacher getting mad because you did GOOD? I guess encouragement isn't in her vocabulary.

I hear you knocking, but you can't come in.

I'm so thankful for Thanksgiving. I never thought I would say that, but the five days I have off are much needed. Not that I won't be doing incredible sums of homework. Nevertheless, I won't have to go to school.

I complain a lot

It is what I do best. Being tired is my fault. I don't have to care. I don't have to go to school everyday or do my homework endlessly. Frankly, I'm getting burnt out. But. I just keep telling myself. Push a little harder. Just a little further. I hear that little engine saying, "You can do it. You can do it." Or whatever the hell, damn thing says. The point is this. I got two test back this week. Two tests I got A's on.

If everything goes as planned I should leave this semester feeling satisfied with myself because I have worked hard. If things keep going like they are I will walk away with FOUR A's and only one B. When I look at my grades and see all those A's staring back at me I will know that all the tired and miserable and stress was worth it. I can just feel it.

Will you still need me, will you still feed me when I'm 24?

I got called old yesterday.

Not in so many words, but I got called old. I was sitting in my Spanish class, but class hadn't started. A couple of people started talking about how old people where. Who is a freshman? Who is eighteen? Etc. So I'm listening to some people talk. I hear these people behind me saying my name. They are fairly surly individuals to begin with. So, naturally I listen. This girl is telling this other guy how old I am. He says, "Who?" She says, "Lauren, in the front." His response, "Really." The look on his face was, I can't even describe. Horrible. It was like he immediately built a wall. We were separated. He couldn't see me anymore. He didn't care. It was as if I had asked him to help me across the street so I don't break a hip and this new difficult obligation was really weighing him down.

The look on his face was like I had been deceiving him. Here I was, this old hag among them this whole time and he couldn't even spot me. I saw his ideas of life crumble before him.

This whole age thing is really getting to me. I find these people incredibly uninteresting. I haven't heard one conversation that I would even consider worthy of easy-dropping. If these eighteen year old aren't talking about their cell phone or equivalent, they are trying too hard to be interesting. Which is worse.

Where have all the normal people gone? I mean I just want to run into someone who isn't an incredible douche bag. Is that possible anymore?

Your Sincerely,
Waisting Away

Hmmmm...

I apparently have nothing to write. I could have sworn I came here for a reason.

Oh, well. I'll give you some bullets.

• I have two test next week on Monday and Tuesday. Same goes for the week after that.
• Don't you wish you were in my shoes?
  
• When I get stressed I get heartburn and nightmares. That would be known as a Double Whammy.
• My Spanish teacher assigned the class homework via email on Saturday.
  

*Here I will pause for your response of shock, outrage, and pure hatred.*

• The week after those lovely test I have a huge project due that I am whittling away on.
  
• Halloween I sat in front of the computer doing research. Then I read a little about Charles Manson and started to get a little scared.
  
• I registered for classes this week. A lovely 15 hours next semester.
• I have four books I have to read before the end of the semester. I am currently trying to figure out when I will have the time.
• I guess, from here on out I will just have to stop sleeping. That would take care of the time issue and the nightmares. Double Bonus.
  
• My Final Exam schedule has been posted and get this, Friday, December 14th and Saturday, December 15th I have finals from 7pm to 10pm. It just keeps getting better doesn't it? I also have a final on the 18th. As of now, I wouldn't be surprised if UT sent me an email saying this semester will never end.
  
• That would be a really good horror movie. Wouldn't it? The semester that never ended. I think I'm on to something.