Friday, August 12, 2011

Looking back

If I had my life to do over again I would make the same mistakes, they were fun.

I'm really thankful for the fact that when I was falling in love with people in my past (or lust or whatever that feeling is) I went with it.  I fell in heart first.  It is a wonderful feeling.  I'm afraid I can't feel that anymore.  I'm too closed, too jaded, to old.  Maybe I'm overreacting.  Maybe this is just a phase.  But I can't tell the future, and there is no way for me to know.  And it if it were to never happen again I'm glad I experienced those feelings so completely.  I didn't hide.  I was completely me.  I let my guts pour out of my heart like I didn't have a care in the world.  Maybe it is a foolish way to behave, but it is also beautiful.  It's the stuff that brilliant lives are made of.  Fear makes a person dull.

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