I am ready

I am ready to move from this soul sucking house.  I am ready to feel good again.  I am ready to get away from a person who is constantly lying to me.  I ready to get away from a person who is constantly trying to tell me something is wrong with me and I should fix it.

Nothing is wrong with me.  I feel like shit.  What is wrong with that?  Should we tally the past year?

My house was broken into.
The thing I most cared about in the world was sick for months, I had to make a decision to kill him.  Then watched as the vet killed him and he died in my arms.
I have moved umpteen times last summer, and am on the road to a few more moves. It's stressful.
I have broken up with my "boyfriend" repeatedly, yet continued to live with him in an incredible uncomfortable situation of confusion and misery.
My grandfather died.  And I never knew him and now it is too late.
My Aunt died.  The week after I saw her lively and taking care of people.  The week after I was feeling guilty for losing touch.  Now it is too late.
To top it off, constantly feeling like I have no control over any part of my life.

What is so bad about feeling lost?  What is so bad about feeling like I can't get a grip on life?  I'm hurting. I refuse to hide it.  I am working through it the best I know how.  Am I doing a good job, probably not.  Should I be expected to shoulder all of this in a mere 365 days, when this is a lifetime of bad shit, and not go a little crazy?