I sat in the shower for about 45 minutes with my head in my hands thinking about what the hell I'm going to do with my life. What if my life just doesn't get any better than this? What if I just keep getting pummeled like this forever. How many times can I sit with my head in my hands thinking about how much I hate where I am. Something has to change, but what. I get some other shitty job. Then what. I have this terrible feeling that things are going to change for me, but not for the better. Unfortunately, everyday I'm fully expecting something terrible to happen. When I get a phone call from a number I don't recognize, I know before I answer that on the other end is bad news. The terrible thing is feeling this way. I need not look any further.
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