As disgusting as it is

I have a schedule. A schedule that I don't break. I wake up at 8 am every morning. Even on my day off. I exercise for an hour. I'm really glad I started the routine quickly while I was still in shock, because if I were trying to start now I don't think I could have done it. Without this routine I think I would just stay in bed and cry for days and days.

On a happier note, I really feel like I'm getting stronger. That is incentive to keep going. I'm really happy with my upper body. I wish my lower body would just get with the program. My god, I do way more lower body exercises and what the fuck. I can see little changes, sure. The problem is I have way more fat down there than on my upper body. I am hoping I will gain some weight eventually too. I holding out a lot of hope for my ass.