Friday, September 14, 2007

The many exaggerations of Lauren

The drainage from my allergies has settled in my lungs = Horrible cough. Wheeze = "I think I contracted T.B. from the bus. You think that could happen? You know wallowing around with the poor like I am?"

I was really losing my voice from said allergies. "I'm sure this is the embodiment of the silent rage I hold for a.) the Spanish language b.) my Spanish class and finally c.) my Spanish teacher."

My teeth have recently made this little spot where food gets stuck. All of sudden. It is really getting bothersome. Flosses, "You could feed an Ethiopian family with the food stuck in between these two teeth. For a week. I swear it."

Garbage disposal making the weirdest, grinding, metal clinking noise. "There must be a baby or something stuck in the garbage disposal. Not some kind of fetus either. I'm talkin' a full to term thing in there. "

I get approximately 9 hours of sleep a night (or more). = "I'm so fucking tired. It feels like I never sleep!"

This reminds me of one of my favorite one liners from Metalocalypse.
Toki Wartooth: "I think I'm diabetic. I want to take a fucking nap."

Or something along those lines. I'm sure I really bastardized it. But you get the idea. Kyle and I laugh about this frequently.

2 comments:

Drew said...

On the subject of garbage disposals: There's a line from "Ned and Stacey" - one of my favorite shows from the 90's that goes. "I miss the sound of her voice man - I tried putting silverware in the garbage disposal, but its just not the same!" Feel free to use that one.

Also, I frickin' love Dethklok. The first season comes out on DVD during the first week of OCT.

"I woke up this morning with a clown's hand down my pants. That what I did today."

Lauren said...

I'm excited about the DVD. I really want it. We don't have cable anymore and miss it something fierce! Kyle wants the album.