different

All these years people have been telling me I need to be single.  For what I'm not sure.  Having been really single the past few months and being single, in that I had no emotional support, for almost a year before that, I really don't get it.  What is so great about it.  The fact that I have tons of time that would otherwise be sucked dry by just existing with another person is the only benefit I see.  It is nice to be able to at least call someone up who is dedicated to listening to you. It's nice to have a person you can count on.  I mean it's way better to be single than in a relationship that sucks a donkey dick, for sure.  But being in a relationship that you like, with someone you like, doesn't squelch your independence at all, or your personal development.  I think what squelches personal development while you are in a relationship is not being able to say, "Hey, I want to do something that you don't want to." Granted there is a slew of reasons this can and probably will happen at some point in a relationship, but all it takes is one argument to break that spell, usually.

Even so, of all the bullshit in life to smash you and your development a good relationship is hardly the thing to be worried about.

Waking up everyday and not doing anything different, drowning in a stagnant cesspool of routine is WAY worse.  Constantly worrying about what you don't have, worse.  Never enjoying yourself, worse.  Trust me. I was there.  Never taking time to take care of yourself is worse.

Treating yourself like shit, feeling like shit and expecting another person to treat you better than shit is confining, I can see that, but simply because it's ridiculous, not because it is the standard for a relationship. Or maybe it is, and I was day dreaming instead of listening to the shitty rules of life.  If that is the case, I choose not to participate in those shitty rules.

Being on the other side and knowing how it feels. Oh. What a waste.  What a huge fucking waste.  To feel that bad and not be working every second to overcome was a waste.  But I'm thankful for that waste of life, because I don't ever want to do that again.  Now I am working every second to feel better.  Working every second to clear my mind of the endless garbage that life litters in there.  Working every second to make my body the perfectly tuned machine that it can be.  Working to not be complacent.  Working to thrill myself with new adventures.  I don't see how a person interested in the same things could hinder that.  A relationship doesn't have to be a stone that you drag around, it can be quite uplifting.