Birthday Wishes:

This list is for myself,  of things I will explore, do, buy, etc. this year.

Writers: William Burroughs Jr., J.G. Ballard, Hubert Selby Jr., Bukowski, Donald Goines, John Waters
Write in a journal.  Hand written words. When I go back and read things I write on paper it inspires me,  like I have something living inside me that peeks out occasionally and it whispers, "You're great".
I want to study saints, their story, the typical religious art of that saint, the iconography, the meaning that evolved from their story.  This intrigues me and I have ideas of transposing modern figures into this imagery: The Patron Saints of Lauren.
There used to be a door in mind that was wide fucking open to life.  Now that door is padlocked.  I'm getting the bolt cutters.  Fuck it.  I'm gonna blow the god damn door down with a shotgun.  Whatever it takes.  I need that openness and curiosity about life again.
Explore Jung.
Find woman writers that move me the way Atwood moves me.
Read the books I have in my house.  I'm gonna try 2 a month.  If that is too few.  4 a month.  If 2 is too many than I shouldn't be allowed to breath anymore.
I'm going to try to be the healthiest Lauren I can be, mentally.  I think that involves wading in the shit of life.  That sounds weird, I know. But the more I read about other's struggles the more I realize that something beautiful can come of troubled times.
Create an art journal.  I need a fucking outlet.  Between writing and creating something, even if it is so terrible I never want anybody to see it, this should lance the boil that is my mental anguish.
I let my body stagnate for so long, too long.  When I started exercising I felt better.  I will attempt to do that with my mind.  I need to stir the soup in my head so the black mold doesn't grow quite as thick.