Sunday, August 08, 2010

List of occupations I have thought about recently:

  • Solid Waste Management
  • Hospice Nurse
  • Maid
  • Escort
  • Secretary
  • Professional Cryer
  • Misery Specialist: You could hire me and I would go hang out with a person of your choice and share my misery with them. It would make them feel bad and misery loves company.
  • Pessimistic Advisor- I will shoot down all your dreams in a matter of seconds. Of course that wouldn't be lucrative so I would have to take a lot longer if I want to get paid by the hour. My personal favorite.

Conversation between me, my dad and my brother talking about someone we know:
Brother: He is a professional bridge burner.
Me: I'm getting there.
Dad: When was the last time you got drunk and told your boss you were going to kick their ass.
Me: The days not over yet.




1 comment:

Anonymous said...

I worked with a guy who worked in waste management. He quit on the day a port-o-potty backed up and he got a mouthful of carnival shit. He said the worst part about it was that it happened in slow motion and he couldn't do anything about it.

Secondly,what happened to marine biology? It's the Lauren version of vulcanology. You've nothing to hold you back, and you have that shit literally tattooed on you.

--Aim High, Charles--

love you ; )