Getting off

As soon as we got off the plane in Sydney it was like a different world. Bright, shining white people. And huge. I'm not sure if Australians are giants or I am used to Koreans, but there were huge glowing blond people who smile. Everywhere. You wouldn't think that a little thing like a smile could effect how you feel about an entire country, but I guarantee it does.

Hotel towels are wonderful things. Huge squishy towels are the best.

I missed a memo. Apparently, there is an international law that says hotel conditioner has to not work. Really, really not work. Since we didn't check any baggage I couldn't really bring any conditioner. Before we left I said, "God forbid somebody try to blow up a plane with a book or an ipod, flights could get really boring." Now that dick carried something in his underwear. Does that mean that we will have to put our panties in those grey plastic bins with our shoes and our liquids? Everyone will have to start wearing skirts. Why don't we just get it over with. They can give us paper gowns to change into like at the doctors office, then everyone will have to check all there luggage. Everyone will be naked, we are already uncomfortable.

I travel with a vibrator. I don't even want to go a week without it. Well, when my bag scanned through the machine in Australia (only in Australia) they think it looks like a bomb. They got me coming and going. The second time a woman was at the xray machine. She must live a hard life. They take me into a cubicle and felt on my tits and ass. I got a pat down two times from different woman. And they did a chemical residue test on my hands and bag. The first time they told me I was selected randomly. Being selected randomly twice in the same airport is a little less than random.