I feel like shit

My head is full of snot so it kind of aches. My neck has a crick in it so... it kind of hurts too. My throat hurts, so I wanted to gargle with salt water. The problem is that it is hard to bend my neck back. It feels like strep throat is imminent. If it goes that far I'll have to see a doctor so I don't loose my legs or some crazy shit. My lymph node hurts. I'm right about ready to give up on living. I'm pretty sure there is enough snot in my ears to sink a ship, if not at least enough to deafen a large animal. Now I'm hungry. Should I be starving myself for something? Isn't that a saying?

I guess I have some stories. When I don't feel like dying I'll tell you all about it.