A succession of events led to an out of mind experience today. It felt good. I need more of these.
I leave my first class which is really exhausting, but I go a different way. I go make an appointment to see an adviser. This happens quite smoothly considering I came at the brink of lunch time. I thank the adviser that made me an appointment and leave the building.
Classes have started so there aren't a lot of people about. As I begin to walk to my next class, five blocks away, I see a man standing and orating to no one in particular. The spot he is standing in, directly in front of the tower, has a particularly good echo apparently. So I begin to slow down, his voice is nice he is talking about the Bible. It interested me, this echo. After I am past him I begin to slow down more. I'm not afraid he will talk to me anymore. I don't want him to break the spell. He is reading a passage from the Bible about "the salt of the earth". I look up to see past the tower. The sky is impeccably blue. There are three vultures. The pulsing of the echo in my head has perfectly coincided with my foot steps. For a second, I feel like my body has gone. Everything is gone. The only thing remaining is this echo, this painful blue, and the vultures soaring in this blue muddle on some hot, rising chamber of air.
Finally, I look were I am going. Slowly everything comes back, the woozy feeling is gone. But I still need a little shake to free myself completely. As I'm trying to come back to reality all I can hear is, "Let your light shine. Let your light shine. Let your light shine. Let your light shine."
By god, I must need to let my light shine. But how?
Now my internal narrative is going full speed ahead. Is this a sign? If so was it God? What would he be saying? Let my light shine? Oh, dear God, things couldn't get any weirder. Let my light shine? Maybe this is some weird trick. Can't be. Everything is connected. I'm reading To The Lighthouse. Isn't that a weird coincidence? Let my light shine?
No. No. I'm sure this is just some acid flashback. Nothing to worry about. God hasn't contacted me. Drugs have.
In a way it was like a mini "psychedelic humbling". It reminded me a lot of the waves you ride on an acid/mushroom trip. One minute you are perfectly lucid. The next you are in a new universe where everything makes sense, but nothing makes sense. Then back, at the drop of a hat, right where you left off. One minute your body is a sack of bones and muscle weighing you down, the next it is a bag of nerves and sensations lifting you up. Life is like that. These ups and downs. The chemicals just intensifies them. Makes them come quicker, stronger.
Oh. My. God. This can not be coincidence. The Lighthouse is all about waves. Waves of time. Waves of reality. Maybe I'm channeling Virginia? Maybe her surrealist thinking has seeped into my consciousness through this story of hers.
Wait. Am I high right now?
I don't think so.
2 comments:
Wow, I'm not sure what to make of all that, but it sounds like it was quite fun.
I think its funny that people will automatically attribute the inexplicable to God's actions. Out of the literally hundred's of possible explanations for occurances, people will often claim that God had a hand in it.
Except when it comes to rape, famine, murder, theft, kidnapping, pre-marital sex and homosexuality.
That's all us!
No, no. Catholics will tell you that God had a hand in rape too. That's how they keep victims from having an abortion. I promise.
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