Anger Management

You know when you see a young person get angry and you have this flash of them in middle age, old and bitter and it so ugly. And you wish you could show them what you saw for that second to save them from what they will become.

I am an angry person. No doubt about it. But in all my angry years I have learned a few things.

#1-Don't ever say anything when you are angry. Bad, bad things slip out and if you are not prepared to live with those things for the rest of your life for God's sake don't speak! You may forget, but I can guarantee you the person that got hurt won't.

Of course no one will listen to #1 so here are some other tips I've picked up along the way.

#2-Don't ever try to rationalize your anger whilst angry. No doubt you will sound like a raving, fucking lunatic.

#3-Never bring up stuff you have previously yelled at somebody for. You look like the biggest asshole in the world cause you can't get over it. If you can't get over it tough shit, that is your deal.

#4- Never bring up stuff that you previously haven't yelled at someone for. This is when things start to turn ugly. When you start making it painfully clear there is a totally different reason for your madness. For God's sake stop talking! It may be okay to be angry about those things, but it isn't okay to bring them up because you are snowballing to rationalize your anger.

#5-Don't through a temper tantrum. Any feet stomping, name calling or flipping the bird is immediate grounds for a visit to the crazy house. Adults aren't supposed to do that. Whoever you are fighting with will dump your ass in a heartbeat. It could be your own mother. She will dump your ass for being a crazy bitch (even if you are a man).

#6- The one place it is okay to talk when angry is in the car. Traffic can't hear and cursing like a sailor helps me feel better.

7#-When your argument is poor or you don't have a comeback, please for the love of God, don't start in with, "Fuck You!" Admit defeat. You don't have a leg to stand on. Your argument is irrational and stop talking. (It is okay, however, to start your argument with fuck you if you aren't yelling and you have a good argument.)

#8- Try not to have outbursts in front of people who haven't seen them before. You will push them away too, even if they aren't the brunt of your anger.

#9-Try not to have outbursts in front of people that have seen you have outbursts before. They will catch on that this is a normal things and want to commit you.

#10- One more time for good measure, Don't Say Anything! Your regret for the way you acted will feed on you for the rest of your life. This will make you older and bitter faster than your anger will. You will be sorry for the relationships you have ruined and the people you pushed away.

Trust me on this one.

You may have noticed I didn't mention anything about apologizing. Well, you wouldn't have to apologize if you didn't say anything now would you!

Apologies don't work and they sure as hell don't fix things.