"My screams got lost in a paper cup"

"Do you think there is a heaven where the screams have gone?"

Today I was driving to work and on the other side of the highway they had the highway shut down for a funeral precession. I-35 was shut down. Who the hell died? There was like four or five cops heading up the precession and there was a ton of bikers and a lot of the cars had American flags that you role up in your window. For some reason funeral processions make me queasy. All those people sad, having to go to a funeral. It really seems like a horrible time to drive. It just creeps me out for some reason. I start thinking about my own funeral and who would come.

Then not ten miles away there was some sort of wreck, I think. Again there was a lot of motorcycles. It was on the other side of the highway too, but we all slowed down so we could see what happened. As I drove by at seven miles an hour I watched some people in uniforms bent in half looking down at something. Of course you imagine the worst. Between me and that concrete retaining wall I am positive there was a mangled body. They were probably just looking for something. It was really hard to see what was going on but traffic was horrendous. Wrecks also bother me, because as I have said before I am sure I will die in a car crash. Because life it to cruel and the fact that every day I go to school I drive past and most of the time sit at the stop light were my grandfather was killed in a car crash and incidentally his insurance money is paying for my school has to mean something. Life is too much like a John Irving novel for it to not. The author of my life is giving me some huge foreshadowing .

One more thing about my drive to work. Last week I saw this little, white, satin pillow on the highway. It was right next to the retaining wall on the left hand side. It use to be a cat. But it was so perfect not squashed or bleeding at all. Everyday I pass it and it is still in the same position not getting run over or anything, but every day it gets dirtier and dirtier. There is no more hair on the tail and it is almost complete gray. The weird thing is is that there really aren't any residential areas where is it and there is about one foot of space between the retaining wall and the lane.