I am waiting for that familiar resolve

This whole job situation has really pushed me over the apathetic edge. Eating is just way too much work. So I figure I have a few options.

Options #1: Raise some money to have myself put in an old folks home were someone will cram food down my throat, slap me around a little bit, and change my panties. In no particular order. Plus medication.

Options #2: Pretend I am dying and have a hospice worker do the same thing at my home. Or maybe I can hire an illegal to do it. That way the hospice worker can help someone who is really dying and I could help a Mexican woman feed her family. The twist to this plan is that I could get whoever to feed me constantly and I could be one of those people who weighs like 800 pounds. 800 pounds might be a little lofty. I better shoot for something around the 500 range. Getting that fat is going to take a lot of work probably more than I am willing to do.

Option #3: Keep working at the Pawn shop just in a different department....