Damn it.

I went out on a date with a guy I think is so fucking hot I can barely stand it.  I was really hoping that he was going to be dumb or a douche.  He isn't.  Actually talking to him and seeing him in daylight made matters way worse. I didn't think he could get any hotter.  The problem is he makes me think that he isn't that into me. Which probably means he isn't.  I'll have to let it go.

I'm trying to think of just one real stupid thing he said. For the life of me I can't. All I can think of are the funny things.  He didn't say one thing that was stupid? How can this be?  Did he just break my streak?

Real conversation

Friend: I think you are younger than you were when you were 21.
Me: I think you're right. I'm going backwards.

Dear Future Lauren,

Always, always, always take your Bucket to pee right before bed.

But if you don't and he wakes up at 4 in the morning needing to pee, and you can't go back to sleep, and your internet isn't working quite right and you are forced to read random files on your computer instead of stare into the darkness a little magic happens.  You are reminded that your statement of purpose for graduate school had beautiful imagery and that is probably why you got in.  You read the beginnings of a autobiographical piece that you started and that went no where probably because you thought it was shitty and a dead end,  is really good.  Really fucking good.  And so god damned open.  It's like a four way fucking stop and not the cul de sac that you thought it was.

You see a little of the amazing things you can do instead of all the shit that bogs you down.  You scroll through pictures from 2006.  You painted a hippopotamus, that is good, when you had never painted anything before.  You sculpt rabbits like they are realistic, with only a picture off the internet as a reference, not to mention clay you have never worked with before.

You are so funny.

A billion people wish they could have only one of your many good attributes.

Don't forget that you dumb bitch.

Love ya,

LK

Fun story

I am moving into a tiny apartment with a relative stranger. I met her in a bar about a month and a half ago.   It sounds ridiculous when I say it out loud.  But it feels good.  I'm just going with it.

TINY.