Also, it doesn't feel real great all the time. It especially doesn't feel great when the people who are going at you the hardest are your friends. Getting drunk and groping your friends is fun, and usually wouldn't bother me, but I am pretty fragile right now, and I need to know that people don't just hang around me so they can get me drunk and fuck me. Like everyone else in the world.
I am a lot more than a rocking little body and pretty face. A lot. I am pretty fucking awesome, in fact. I'm smart and funny and I could probably kick your ass. I know that if I told the fucktard who is hitting on me at any given moment exactly what I was thinking I would probably have to put my money were my mouth is, because they would probably be inclined to fight me. Unless I'm drunk, then I am really nice and smiley.
I get really tired of the thinly veiled line of bullshit in order to get into my pants. I am not gullible or easily manipulated. Here's a fucking newsflash: I didn't start looking like this yesterday. I have been playing the "you won't get into pants unless you're worthy" game for a long time, like since I was 14. I have had a lot of experience with dumbshits. The funny thing is, they are all the same. In almost 15 years of playing this particular game almost nothing has changed. Wait, that isn't funny at all, that is really sad.
So, Lauren, here are some ground rules:
- If they can't put in more than a week of work to get laid, move on. You are worth a lot more and they clearly don't have the capital.
- If they have to stop and think about the compliment they are about to give you and the pause is so long that you finish their sentence, move on. They don't have the mental fortitude to withstand the barrage of shit you will give them for being slow. They will also bore the shit out of you on a daily basis until you hate them. For your sanity, move on.
- Don't ever. ever. ever. get interested in someone when you are drunk. You like everyone when you are drunk! It is the magic of alcohol. That. is. all. Learn your lesson, move on.
- If he or she can't make you laugh when you are sober, move on. Quickly. You will tire of them. They will not be able to keep you the slightest bit interested.
- If you just feel like they are lying, even if you have no evidence that they actually are, they are. Move on.
These are the most hideous glaring indecencies I have been going through lately. I am positive there are so many more I could write a book. Thankfully, alcohol has made me forget the ins and outs of every nasty little encounter.
I think maybe I should not drink when I go out and just avoid the whole shebang. The problem is I have fun when I am drinking and I don't want to punish myself because a gaggle of assholes assault me every time. I'm trying to reconcile the two: having fun drinking, dancing and going out and then being miserable from somebody rubbing their shit stain of a personality on me.
Are there decent people in the world that I haven't already fucked over?
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