Comments

I received this comment on my latest blog post: 

"woah! i mean, well, woah. awesome job of validating treating people like shit or "shittily' by blaming them for your actions. hmmmm, i know, if i do bad things or treat someone poorly and no one stops me, well, hey thats on them. i've got to use this method in my own life sometime, ya know when i want to lose all my friends or something. i wonder...well, nevermind. to hell with accountibility and recognizing our role in shitty situations! you rule."

I hardly think that saying "I am not a bad person" or "To my credit" is validating anything.  If you notice I never said the way I acted was good or even acceptable.  I realize that "dick" can have some good connotation, but it usually doesn't when a person uses it the way I used it. I know that "shitty" never means anything but bad.  

Validating a very complicated and difficult time in my life would be extremely difficult in two paragraphs. I was simply making an observation in a light hearted way with as much honesty and as little judgement about my own actions as I am capable of. (Except for that Type A stuff. He doesn't know his ass from a hole in the ground, and as far as he was concerned I was little more than a hole in the ground.  I was just a little warmer.)  I'm biased.  So are you.  Let's be honest.  Being as honest as I can is the only way I can change and grow from less than stellar behavior.  

If I seemed in any way to express that the way I behaved was good or that I want to behave that way again, that was not my intention. My intention was to say I behaved poorly in a bad situation.  That does not mean that I am a bad person, and it doesn't mean it was for nothing.  There is value in every poor decision, next time I'll be better prepared.  There is absolutely no value in sitting around feeling bad about what I did.  

I also think that, yes, it is undeniably an individual's responsibility to set his or her own boundaries. If you let other people set your boundaries I am positive you won't like where they set them.  

It is a little surprising to me that an adult would be so naive as to be shocked by this behavior.  Every single day I see good people in a situation to take advantage of somebody who has no boundaries and they do.  The world isn't a pretty place. People aren't always capable of stepping outside the situation and analysing every angle before they act.  Sometimes this leads to ugly behavior.  It isn't good or bad. It's just the way things are.  

I left myself open to your shitty comment and that was my fault. See, I am capable of taking responsibility for my actions.