Pass me by. I'll be fine. Just give me time.

I wish I could take everything I have seen and heard and done in the past 9 years off just like a winter coat. I would hang it in the closet and store it for the summer. I still need that heavy coat, no doubt, but just for a little while I would like to feel a cool breeze on my bare shoulders.

I sat out on the driveway tonight trying to get it back, that feeling like tomorrow will always be better. Maybe it is the feeling that there is something different out there just around the corner. The silence of suburbia is deafening. The white noise of cars driving by and the crinkle of paper burning as I take a long drag off a cigarette are the only things to keep me company. And just for a second I thought I had it. But it slipped away before I could get a good hold on it.

Cigarettes make me feel like a kid. If only I had someone to hide them from.

Some people are afraid of change. I'm afraid of static. But it always finds me. It hunts me down. For some reason I give in to it. It comes sneaking in like a prowler, and all I can do is hide under the covers. But just when things get going good and steady I make a break for it and muck it all up real good, then try to make my way back. One of these days I'm not going to be able to go back. I will have fucked it up one to many times. Then what?

"Oh, the problems we had then. How were we to know we were happy?"