My hands are jittery and my heart is beating harder if not faster. I feel almost like I have had a lot of caffeine. Just with a conversation. It feels so good to use my brain. To contemplate things and ideas and discuss them. I found out today things I believe in. More importantly I have stated them and not just outloud, but to somebody.
I believe in poetry and I believe in science.
I may have even found and avenue of life I would like to try to go down. As of late I have found not streets or structured areas with lanes and avenues but great big fields where I wonder around aimlessly. I just needed a funnel. I need to focus my thoughts and energies on something. And maybe that could be poetry. Not necessarily the writing of it, but the study of it. The study of why words sound good together or why they feel good to say.
Who am I? Why can't I figure something out? Why can't I pin something down? Do I really want to?
Though I did make a mistake. Something I said today was I would never get religion or philosophy. Only part of that was correct. I will probably never get religion. But I am a regular philosopher. (philosophy: Love and pursuit of wisdom by intellectual means and moral self-discipline one of the definitions on dictionary.com) What I really meant was I just can't get down totally with a single, whole idea of a philosopher. There are always certain things that I would change or just combining philosophers. Scratch that I can get down with Tom Robbins. I love his philosophies on life and love.
I hope one day to have wonderful, amazing thoughts on love and life and to be able to communicate those thoughts and feelings with people to get them to think, if not help them see things in a different way. In doing so not diminish my passion or love for the thoughts and feelings I have. That is the most important part. One day I hope that I won't let other people drag me down. That the masses of idiots will not make me feel like life is hopeless. Even when I communicate a beautiful idea to someone and they don't even grasp the vaguest concept of what I am saying it will not effect me negatively.
How is that for a mission statement?
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