I have nothing to say

I keep thinking of things to say, but they all leave in quick order.  Right now it feels like somebody has put an ax in the back of my head.  I have so much school shit to do, but I just don't want to do it.  Oh, thought of something.  

I have started my first project of graduate school. I'm really excited about it because I think it is a really, REALLY awesome project and I'm happy I can be a very very small part of it.  There is an environmental lawyer in Austin who has travelled all around Texas interviewing all kinds of different people about environmental issues.  He has been working on the project for about 10 years.  It is called The Texas Legacy Project.  Our job is to take an hour video that we have been assigned and make it searchable so that you can search any word and go to the point in that movie where the word was said so nobody has to waste time with the whole movie to watch 10 seconds of footage. We will also add a table of contents, sink the transcript with the video, and make links to Google Earth of the places that are mentioned in the video. Then as a group of 4 we will be making a website for K-8 geography teachers to use the website and focus on how they will use it and what they need to get out of the website.  After we were given instructions on what to do I came home and took a nap and dreamed/ dreamt?  about it.  

I got my hair cut today.  It is so different.  I'm not quite used to it yet.  

Kyle booked our room for the pinball festival. I'm excited.  I'm really looking forward to Spring Break.  School is going by so fast. It won't be long and I will be freaking out about all the stuff I have to turn in.   

Ch-ch-ch-Changes

My aunt (technically my half- aunt? Is that a thing?  She is my mom's half-sister.  She is also 16 years younger than my mom) gave me her grandmothers (not my mom's grandmother) furniture.  So I did a little rearranging and changing.  I still have to work out what I am going to do with the dining table and the 8 chairs! This is what the furniture looks like.  

I think the glass hutch is supposed to go on top of the bottom piece, but I wasn't into that. 

Then I moved the old stuff across the room to store all my school stuff and homework and books.



I really like it.

Dear Skin,

You suck!  Sure, you keep all my organs in, you even stretch at will so all my joints move.  You also keep all kinds of toxins out of my body.  But why must you break out?  This is punishment for not taking birth control I know.  Could you just be less red?  That is all I'm asking.  

 

Randomness from my day

The word "data" makes my skin crawl.  The fact that it is plural just grosses me out.  To hear someone say "the data are" disgusts me.  For whatever reason it sounds like nails on a chalk board to me.  

I'm wearing a white shirt today.  On the way to my car I got hosed down in front of the UT hotel by some guy testing the sprinklers without so much as a sorry.  My shirt was wet, my backpack was wet, my hair, face - both wet, water in my ear.  What the fuck, buddy? 

The School of Information has a picture on the website that makes me want to vomit.  Here it is.  It makes me think that we will all be performing an interpretive dance upon completion of the program.  Those two are illustrating what just such an interpretive dance might look like.  Or, as someone in class said today, just "straddling a computer". 

I'm tired of life without bangs

So I'm going to do something about it. Take that, hair. I haven't had my hair cut in over a year. It is sad. I even have a stylist friend. Never fear. I'm doing something about my lousy hair. This is what:

Furthermore,  I have been lifting these 10 pound dumbbells.  I may have mentioned it.  I will be able to punch a whole in some one's face when I am through.  My intention is to be able to see the definition of muscle even in long sleeves.  I want my arms to look like this even when they are crossed.  How is that even possible?   I'm going to be so hard.  

I might even go out and buy some new make-up.  I got money from graduation.  I don't want to spend all of it on text books.  I don't want to be that lame.  Damn it. 

Graduate School

School is kind of kicking my ass. There is so much reading online. It is hard to complain about such things seeing that it is free. But it is so easy to get distracted when on the computer and trying to read. You don't even have to move to do something else.

*As if to illustrate my point, since I started writing this I have looked at the Texas Pinball Festival Website, looked up hotels, emailed my sister-in-law and tried to go back to reading. I am having an off day.*

I can't even stay focused on things I'm half way interested in, not to mention really bland, academic reading.

I am so tired of hearing about how Jessica Simpson gained 4 pounds. Who gives a shit. I don't care if she weighs 300 pounds, the rich bitch. That is the point of being rich so you don't have to starve yourself.

I went to Casey's birthday party last night

There were many, many things that went on. They were all weird. But it got significantly weirder as the night progressed. In the span of about 30 minutes there was talk of coming on faces, Casey's friend grabbed my boob (I think there may be picture evidence of that), we played red rover on Guadalupe with some strangers, and we were passed on the street by three girls who were dressed exactly alike. They even had the same hair. It was like I was drunk and seeing one to many. Troublesome. I shouldn't drink. My internal checker of the things that come out of my mouth is turned off. Not like being sober really blocks up the dam, it is just worse when I drink. Any old thing comes out. It's bound to get me in trouble some day. I mentioned out loud (I'm sure they were within ear shot) that these girls were all wearing the same thing. Now what if they were skilled in the martial arts? What if they were cannibals? What if I had pissed them off and they decided there were going to kick my ass using the choreographic sequence of fighting moves they have been practicing so when they kick some one's ass they all loook exactly the same? OH, what if they were robots? They probably were robots.

Then I had a dream that I went to visit Jon Favreau. He apparently had an office in the UT Tower. He had some really shady friends at his office party. I was trying to get in his pants. He kept turning me down. I just kept on trying. It is a weird world I live in.

On playing Wii:

You should hear the things that come out of my mouth. It is a well known fact that I have the foulest mouth this side of the writers of Deadwood, but sometimes I surprise myself. It just comes out, seemingly, with out my having anything to do with it's creation. I berate Mario. Nothing is sacred, poor guy. I make nasty comments about his weight, his nationality, and I insult his masculinity by implying that he is a homosexual. Yesterday Kyle and I played the shit out of Mario Cart and let me tell you no one is safe. Peach that "twisted whore" got her fair share of abuse. Not only am I ruthless, I am relentless. The insults fly out of my mouth next thing I know Kyle is laughing at me, then I have to think about what I said to see what was funny. Sometimes it is just a string of curse words that make absolutely no sense, but most of the time I create an inappropriate barrage of insults. My favorite it seems is "douche hole". I don't know why I have adopted this phrase as my favorite, but I suspect that "douche" lends a certain irritating asshole flavor and "douche" in combo with "hole" would technically mean vagina, and Mario can be a great big vagina. Solved that mystery didn't I.


P.S. I schooled my brother and Kyle on Mario Cart. Boo-Ya!

I'm supposed to be on a diet

It is going poorly to say the least. I am exceptionally lazy. (I did have a blood test to see if I have mono. They told me I didn't but I don't believe them.) I will eat anything if it means that I don't have to do anything. This translates to eating a lot of pizza. Kyle and I finally went to the grocery store. It was pathetic. We had nothing. NOTHING. Since we have been to the store I have eaten English muffins for the past two nights for dinner. And cookies. Granted I only have 3 cookies and as far as calories go an English muffin and 3 cookies isn't that bad, but damn. What is wrong with me?

Whatever I am doing I think it is working. This is misleading. I have been running up and down my stairs and lifting 10 pound dumbbells when I watch tv. I haven't just been sitting around eating english muffins. Anyway, the point I was getting at is this: I wore my Dickies today. They were freshly washed and dried in the dryer, which means I need a small miracle to get them on. Boy, oh boy, are they tight for about half and hour. But today they slipped right on. Now, I don't mean to make you think they are loose, because they aren't. I only didn't need a shoe horn. Whenever I'm on a diet I find it best not to weigh. I'm fairly sure that I have lead pumping through my veins. So it can be misleading. I weigh 126 pounds. I wear a size 3 pants. I know of two people who weigh 5 to 10 pounds less than me and wear larger pants (2 to 3 sizes larger). So I judge all my weight changes through my clothes and how they fit.

On the mono note, everyday at 6-6:30 I become incredibly tired. Yesterday, for instance, I woke up at 7am so I could be at school at 9. I got home a little after 12. Kyle and I took a nap. I slept for about an hour. At 6 pm I took another nap. Not because I was tired, no. Because I couldn't keep my eyes open. That is not normal. Granted I was reading, but that still isn't normal for me. I am managing to not take a nap today. But it is difficult. I'm really tired right now. When I went to UT health services they made me fill out a questionnaire about depression to tabulate if I was depressed. My points added up to mild anxiety. The doctor also said that with that many points I could be stressed. She could have just asked if I was stressed. I would have told her yes. She said I could be fatigued because of stress. She said the mono test could give me a false positive and if I wanted to be sure there is a blood test that is $100. I opted for the $17 one. I wasn't that worried about it.

Maybe I'm tired because of my poor diet.

My Celebrity Crushes

Joel McHale


Rob McElhenney

Is this a joke?

This is on the page that tells me when I can register:

Registration/Add-Drop Access Schedule

Spring Semester 2009

Jan 23 - Feb 4. You may long in the system only to look at your
classes. Any changes to those classes must be done in the
department offering the class. The system is open during this
time from 8a-12m except Jan 4 when it closes at 5p.

Was someone drunk when they wrote this? You think a University website could do something about proofreading. Two errors in 3 sentences. Long in?

Turns Out

I'm really in graduate school.  Really?  I still haven't wrapped my head around graduating.  I actually graduated from college.  Is that even possible?  It is for real.  UT sent the diploma.  I keep thinking that somebody is going to find out that they made a mistake and say you have 40 more hours to take.  Oh, wait.  I'm going to graduate school.  Then my mind is blown all over again.  

The funniest thing I have seen in a while.  

Conversation between me and my mom

while I was dying her hair.  

[Forgettable chit chat.  Somehow we start talking about Amy Winehouse.]

Mom: I think Amy Winehouse is pretty.

[shocked silence]

Me: [I can't say anything so my face has to show my horror, nausea, shock, awe, and need to laugh all at once]

Me:[Finally] She is disgusting.

Mom: Well, I think she is pretty.

Me: She is a crack whore. 

Mom: She is pretty for a crack whore.  

This is my favorite.

 

Oh my God!

Super Mario Galaxy is so fucking fun!  I have 20 stars.  

Kyle came home today and brought me a Wii!!!! I have been wanting one for a long time.  He also got me Super Mario Galaxy!!  BooYa!!!!  I think I'll skip the first week of classes and play Wii!  Just kidding!  

I found my first grey hair today.  I can't wait until all my hair is grey.  

The Resurrection

Anastatica hierochuntica or Resurrection Plant or Rose of Jericho 

"This succulent has hygroscopic qualities - it curls up and turns brown when dry, and unfolds into a green leafy fern when moist.  This process of curling up and opening is completely reversible and can be repeated many times.  The seeds can be dormant for years; although it looks dead when dry, it's nearly impossible to kill this plant.  When placed in a few inches of water, it will spring back to life within a few hours."

Dry:


15 min:


30 min:


45 min:


60 min:

Camera Bag

A special request

Corley gave me a Resurrection Plant for Christmas. She asked that I take pictures of it.   I am taking some pictures of it in stages and will post them soon.  

I have had an exciting last couple of days.  Now I don't know what to do with myself.  I spent the whole day out at my dad's house yesterday.  I didn't get home until after 9 (it is an hour drive).  Then I felt woozy and gross.  I think the older I get the more I am susceptible to motion sickness.  Or it could have been that I slept about 4 hours the night before.  I slept for 12 hours today.  It was so great.  I also learned how to crochet (not in my sleep or anything).  I made a camera protector/bag a few days ago in Amy Butler fabric.  It is pretty cute. I haven't taken a picture of it yet.  I guess I could do that. 

Two nights in a ROW

I'm going out again tonight!  I'm on a roll.  

Get this

I'm leaving the house to socialize! Say What?!  I know!  With school friends!  I know! It just keeps getting better.  That's all.  

My New Year's Resolution!

While at orientation the Dean of the School of Information told us this, "For every one of you there are two people who want to be sitting in your chair."  I would do well to remember that because I think that pertains to me in a lot more ways than just school.  I will try my damnedest to hold on to that as tightly as I can.  I'm lucky for a lot of reasons (though it doesn't always feel that way).  I would venture a guess that in some ways there are a helluva lot more than two people who would like to take my place.  Somehow I ended up on a fairly smooth, mostly flat stretch of road and I intend to save my breath from complaining. But instead of saving it I'll spend all that breath thanking my lucky stars.  I caught a glimpse of the light at the end of this path when the Dean said those words and it just might be easier from there.  

Last time on Lauren Sits Around. . .

• Lauren left the couch today to go to Orientation.  I hate to say this because it shines a spotlight on my nerd-ness, but it was really exciting.  And then there was a time for socializing.  A bunch of strangers in a small space and very noisy is not my thing.  Plus I haven't talked to anybody but Kyle in the past two weeks so my socializing muscle is atrophied.  Plus there was no alcohol.  I'm much better at pretending to care when alcohol is involved.  I register for school tomorrow.  I'm excited.  
  
• I have had some nightmares- nasty, festering things with giant man-killing spiders.  Stephen King is way too scary.  Before the spider nightmare I had a dream that demons were chasing me and trying to kill me.  
• In no time flat I will be done with the last couple hundred pages of the last Dark Tower book.  It has taken a turn for the sad.  My heart is aching a little.  Yesterday I did some crying.  I'm sure there is more sadness yet to come.  

The Middle

There is something electric about the middle of a book, especially when it is exciting.  I get anxious to finish, to find out what is going to happen.  Then I usually have this horrible idea that everything is going to go wrong.  If I just don't read any further everything can stay as it is.  Nobody has to get hurt or killed or ruined for the rest of their life.  Then a hard little knot forms in my stomach, heavy and smooth, like a lead weight.  Because I know I will keep reading.  If there is a God, I think he/she has a horrible job.  I bet that feeling is huge and awful.  Seeing someone so in love or happy and knowing it will come to a horrible end.  And knowing that you won't stop it.  Knowing never keeps my heart from breaking, but sometimes I can brace myself.  Most of the time not even that helps.  

I'm done reading One through Five of the The Dark Tower Series.  I can barely breath little less think of anything else.  I want to finish the last two books.  My poor, lonely little camera is being so neglected.  Never mind, there will be time for that sometime soon.  

Confession 19:

I feel the hands of matrimony closing around my neck and it is scaring the shit out of me.  

Horrorscopes

What a crock of shit. Read my horoscope for the year. I especially like this little gem. "Your focus is excellent, and you know what you want."  My focus is excellent for a senile 80 year old.  What the fuck.  I swear to you I cannot figure out what day it is.  And it is all downhill from there.  But yes I do know what I want.  I want to finish reading the Dark Tower series.  Aside from that I don't even know what I want to eat for fucking dinner.  I know what I want?  Yeah.  Also this year both my dogs will start flying and they will get a job and start paying for themselves.  Kyle will have ambition and unicorns and elves will come and sing me to sleep every night.  I can't wait.  How did they know me so well?  They must have sent spies.  Blind ones.  

The New Year

Once upon a time my only goal in life was to not get fat. I was happy then. Life was easy. Things were good. I was accomplishing my goals daily. My new years resolution is to get back to that state of mind. Once I was fun, and funny, and carefree. What happened? I hear myself becoming bitterer by the minute. If I could just let loose a little. I'm pretty sure all I need is an IV drip of something like Valium. Yeah. That sounds great. Or an IV drip of beer. Would that kill me? It would probably burn.

Last Friday I was hanging out with some friends and they were asking me all kinds of questions about when I was a teenager. I don't know how we got on the subject. I think it was because they were asking me about when Kyle and I started dating. I started thinking about how much fun we used to have doing, well, nothing. I think we were just inebriated most of the time.

Note to self: Stay intoxicated most of the time. Life is so much better that way.


This is post 500.

I'm having a terrible time figuring out what day it is.

Guess What!

Kyle has mono! How fun! You know what that means? I probably have mono. Great. At least I have time to rest before school starts.

2 things I just remembered about vacation

1. We saw Lyle Lovett in the airport in Houston on the way to Lima. It looked like he had two guitar cases and no other luggage.

2. In Peru, they only want crisp money with no tears or stains. Why? I have no idea , but if you feel like going dollars are no problem just make sure they are perfect. Even a bend on the corner was grounds for saying they won't take it. Weird.

Oh, yeah one more thing. In the airport in Lima on the way home we saw an armless man traveling with a guitar. Of all the things he could have. He couldn't even carry it. I know it is bad, but I couldn't help but think of the Family Guy with the no armed baseball player. I laughed.

I'm having an affair

My affair with Jorge Borges is fleeting, but we have met many times in the past 6 months. I had never heard of Borges before the last week of the first summer session. My Spanish professor brought in a story to show us one sentence. He wanted to prove that a certain grammar rule was actually used. He explains the story. It kind of blew my mind. Then he shows the sentence. Since then almost every single class I have had a professor mentions Borges. The first week of the next summer session, which happened to be the very next week after the first incident, both of my English professors mentioned Borges. That really blew my mind. In one of my classes we talked about him quite a bit. By this time I start to think I need to read this Borges character. First day of Fall semester my poetry professor has a handout with a Borges quote on it. Last day of Fall semester my Walt Whitman professor has a quote from Borges on it. The first page of the book Corley gave me for graduation has a Borges quote. If I combine all the quotes I've read it might equal a short story by now. I'm starting to feel like this is a big conspiracy. I must read Borges. Everyone around me is inundating me with Jorge Borges.

Another thing, when we were in Peru I saw some olive oil in a market, the brand was ... you guessed it Borges.

L.I.E.

Recently a new toll road has been constructed in my stomach. There is no traffic! The L.I.E. (Large Intestine Expressway) says one hour to the next exit. I'm hoping I contracted a parasite. I mean skinny is skinny, right? Who cares how you get that way. Kyle says it is a case of bad Whataburger. But why would Whataburger do that to me? It is my friend. It doesn't want to hurt me.

One more reason I will never fly Continental again

Passengers escape burning jet in Denver; 38 hurt

Finally

I finished uploading all my vacation pictures to Flickr.  

On My Winter Vacation

There were a number of snags.  All the snags were due to the airlines.  It makes a person never want to fly again.  Especially Continental.  This has happened before.  Our first flight from Austin to Houston went swimmingly.  We get to Houston and have a three hour lay-over.  I read, Kyle tried to sleep without much luck.  They board the plane and by the time we get to our seats I'm sweating because it is really hot in the plane.  It takes people forever to cram their shit in the overhead bins and when they do we don't move.  So we sit there in the heat and wait.  And wait. The captain comes on and tells us the a/c is broken.  No shit!   After about 45 minutes they finally start bringing us water.  I can see the water tray and there is only one left and three people in our row.  The lady next to me is old and she isn't paying attention.  So I take the water from the stewardess and had it to the lady.  We get no water because right then the captain comes on and tells us to get our things we are getting off the plane.  So we still have to wait for everyone to get their stuff out of the overhead bins and now people are moving around so it is even hotter and I still haven't had any water.  I'm sweating like a pig and generally feeling gross.  Long story short after another two hours of sitting in the airport the fix the a/c and we finally get to leave.  We were supposed to get to Lima at 11:30 go to out hotel for a few hours and go back to the airport to take a flight to Cusco at 5.  Instead we arrived around 3 waited forever at the luggage retrieval to find out that another passenger took my luggage instead of his.  So the airport says that they will send it to the Cusco airport as soon as they get it.  We were bringing a huge duffel bag full of gifts for the family of one of Kyle's co-workers.  Mostly clothes that he wanted to give them.   They waited at the airport for us until 4 in morning.  After that we had time to check our luggage and board the next flight.  We got to the hotel in Cusco at about 8 and we slept for the rest of the day.  

From then on everything went really smooth.  I got my luggage the next day.  No other problems.  Until the flight home.  In Cusco the plane we were supposed to fly out on was delayed.  Three hours.  We woke up at 5 in the morning to sit in the airport for three hours.  When we get to Lima we were supposed to be meeting the family and having lunch at their restaurant and go sight seeing.  Again they had to wait for us for hours.  I felt so bad.  We finally made it to the restaurant.  We had seviche that was absolutely delicious.  Then we had traditional Peru plate that is similar to stir-fry with beef, tomatoes, french fries, and other assorted fresh vegetables.  Then finally we had mussels in the half shell topped with red onions and garlic an ají (which is a semi- hot chili).  The food was delicious.  We wanted to go to the catacombs but with the flight delay and lunch running long we knew they were closed.  So we went to downtown Lima.  The square was closed because there were going to be protests and there were tons of police in riot gear.  We were going to go into a huge cathedral, closed.  So we walked down to another one.  Then they were going to take us somewhere else.  I forger where it was.  Doesn't matter it was closed.  We had some bad luck.  

They drop us off at our hotel at 8:30 our ride to the airport is coming to pick us up at 9:30 for out flight at midnight.  We get to the Continental check your luggage line and it is around the block.  We waited in line to get out seats and check out luggage for over two hours.  TWO HOURS.  Our flight says it is delayed 30 minutes.  In actuality we didn't even board until well after 1 in the morning and we had a connecting in Houston that was delayed an hour as well.  But while we are waiting in line Kyle kind of went to the side and was standing next to the white girl in front of us.  As soon as I opened my mouth and asked where are you going.  ( I was still behind her) She says, "Dude, we are all in hurry here could you not cut me?" Oh, god.  Kyle tells her, "I'm not getting in front of you." I can see him turning red, and he tells her "Calmate".  After about five minutes they tell us that we are standing in the wrong line.  The line for Houston is on the other side.  So we move to the other line along with the girl in front of us and Kyle says you better hurry I'm going to get in front of you.  We get in the new line in front of her and I think good maybe that will be the end of it.  No such luck.  The line moves up a little and Kyle stays back and tells her, "Go ahead get in front of us I was just trying to be a bitch."  My eyes must have been the size of dinner plates.  I was trying not to laugh.  Then as we move in line a guy comes up and actually cuts in front of her.  She doesn't say anything.  Then she says something.  I'm not sure he knew he was cutting, but it was too much I had to laugh.  We got to Houston we didn't miss our connection.  The final flight was on time and half empty so that was nice.  

Christ on a cracker

I'm back from vacation.  While I was gone grades were finally posted.  I am officially graduated, I guess.  I got 3 B's and 2 A's in case you were interested.  I'm not really happy with that, but that is enough points to be on the Dean's list for my third semester in a row.  

I have never had worse travel luck.  Getting to Peru and back home was HELL.  The middle part was nice though.  The middle is the best part of everything.  

I have lots of stories.  Tons.  But I have to sleep first.  I have tons of pictures too.  

We left Lima last night at midnight and hadn't slept since 5 am the previous morning.  I still haven't slept.  I'm so tired I can't even do the math.  Pushing 32 hours anyways.  

Until Tomorrow,

Graduation and Party

The graduation ceremony was the worst I have every had the pleasure of sitting through.  First, some guy from a parent's organization couldn't read his own speech.  I know kindergardeners who can read better.  Thankfully, his speech was short.  But his horrendous reading was overshadowed by the god awful keynote speaker.  Her whole speak was about how horrible the economy was doing.  It was unspeakably bad.  I wish I had a picture of what my eye's looked like when she started talking.  It was the biggest downer!  I was horrified.  Follow that with an impossibly long name calling.  Yuck!  I'm glad that is over with.  

Then I got to my house there were so, SO many people!  Tons of people.   I was really surprised by how many people showed up.  I think 33 people RSVP'd there were more.  It was a packed house.  I managed to not drink too much.  When almost everybody left I opened all my presents.  I should graduate more often.  Damn.  My favorite gift?  Paper shredder.  I'm only kidding a little bit.  I'm sure my favorite gift will be the book Corley gave me.  I will be reading it on vacation.  I have a 15 hour flight coming up.  I better find some anti-nausea, motion sickness medicine before I go.  Flights don't usually bother me, but after about 9 hours I start to feel gross.  

Now, I have to think about finishing this 10 page paper that is weighing my high down.  Bummer!   

See ya soon!  

Whenever you want the hours to go by fast they never do.   6 o'clock today I will be graduating from college.  Kind of.  At least I will be attending the ceremony.  Official graduation doesn't come until grades are turned in on the 15th.  Then I have to get some paper work confirming it and give it to UT to confirm I graduated from UT so I can go to graduate school.  Yeah.  You think they could just look it up in a computer, but whatever.  At least I don't have to pay anything, which, frankly, surprises me.  There is still time for them to tell me I owe something.  

January 13th is graduate school orientation.  I'm pretty excited.  

But I'm more excited about Dec. 9th.  Vacation!!!!!

I just crossed the finish

Well, almost.  

Today was my last day of class!  For at least a month.  I'm really excited about that.  I wish I could say forever, but I still have two more years.  

At least I accomplished a small part of my goal.  

On to the next thing.  

Children's Literature

Have you heard about the live action movie version of Where the Wild Things Are?  

I just read about it in the Rolling Stone.  The screenplay is written by Dave Eggers  (of A Heartbreaking Work of Staggering Genius fame) and Spike Jonze (director of Adaptation and Being John Malkovich), Jonze also directs.  I can't tell if I'm excited or afraid of being dissapointed.  

School work

Why is it so damned hard to start a paper?  I cannot make myself do anything on my research paper.  In order to escape the pain of sitting and looking at a blank page I start cleaning.  Decidedly more productive than just sitting, which is what I would be doing.  

Lunch

I'm about to go to lunch with a friend of my mom's.  They hadn't seen each other in about 20 years and they had dinner.  Now she wants me to see him.  And him to see me because he can only think of my as the five year old.  Seeing me might put him in shock.  I really don't want to go, but I'm hungry.  

That wasn't a good story.  The end. 

thanksgiving

Kyle's dad went to thanksgiving.  He was very tired at the end of the day.  I'm glad he was able to come.  Kyle's new nephew looks just like a cabbage patch kid.  My mom decided this and she is so right.  He has the roundest little head you ever saw.  

My week is over

I only had one day of school this week.  Thank god, because I have so much to do.  Did I mention that I hate the holidays.  My mom is coming with us to Kyle's family's Thanksgiving.  That ought to be a blast.  For some reason we are going to Kyle's aunt's house in Temple.  Most of the family lives in Austin or Georgetown.  The most important person, Kyle's dad, lives in Georgetown.  Since he is recovering from chemo and still isn't up to full speed he may not be up to making the 45 minute drive to Temple.  So that means that if he is having a bad day he will sit at home alone all day on Thanksgiving.  

If you are anything like me right now you are going, What the fuck? You could just have lunch at Meemaw's! 

I don't make the decisions.  If I did a lot of things would be different.  I can feel my blood pressure rise.  I try to forget.  I try to ignore.  It makes my life easier.  I'll put on a smile and keep food in my mouth.  

Wait

My commitment to the party is giving me mild panic attacks.  Not to mention the fact that I am having a terrible time making myself sit down and write the papers that I have due.  Also, a lot more people are coming to my party than I originally thought, for instance my grandmother is coming from Lubbock, my great aunt and aunt are coming from Fort Worth, my other aunt.  I'm not sure my house is big enough.  

Changing the subject.

We got a flyer for a community gathering.  On the list of things that will be going on is meeting your neighbor, having sausage wraps, learning about sex offenders in our neighborhood.  What?  So I was curious and looked up the sex offenders in my neighborhood on the online registry.  Damn, there are a lot.  Approximately 10-20.  I'm way too old for any sex offender on the registry, approximately 10-20 years older.  But one guy on the list caught my eye.  Where the address is supposed to be listed it said "Transient".  Is that guy on every neighborhood list? Or did he register just a zip code?  

Taking a tangent route here. 

I'm reading "Reefer Madness" which is very good.  Did you know that in some states rapist, murders, and child molesters get lesser sentences than a person caught with marijuana?  True story.  Sad despicable story, but true never the less.  

It's Official

I'm having a graduation party!  If I don't have your email address and you are interested in driving to north Austin on the 6th of December to get krunk at my house party contact me.  I'm pretty sure I emailed everyone (except Casey but he is invited through Corley).  Jessica's invited if you're brave enough.  It will mostly be my fam and family friends. My mom AND dad might be in the same house.  Yowza! It scares me, but they need the practice for my wedding.  

About last night

So I performed my poem yesterday.  I looked like this. 

For whatever reason a couple of kids from class all thought it would be a good idea to go drinking afterwards.  Since I didn't have to go to the class following I thought, Why not? The original plan was to have a beer or two at The Dog and Duck and go back to my last class. We started drinking at 3 in the afternoon. After approximately 5 pints of beer (at 6) we walked to Drungo about 10 blocks away.  I stopped drinking.  When we all started to sober up we walked to Dirty's a greasy burger joint.  I did not eat.  At that point it was 8:30 and I was hung over.  At 9 I drove myself home.  On the way I was pretty certain that I was going to vomit.  Luckily all I had to do was role the window down and I would cool off and feel okay. Then I would get too cold.  Then I would feel like I was going to puke.  It went on like that for the whole 20 minutes.  When I finally made it home I took a shower.  Which made me feel a lot better but it didn't keep me from puking twice.  And I slept like shit.  

A whole night of wearing that dress made my arm look like this.  

That is a bruise.  It hurts.  Foam dress of death.  I have to admit it was pretty foxy though.  

Two Things

One, the weather is wonderful.   Just cool enough to not use the air conditioning and warm enough to heat the house during the day so it isn't cold at night. 

Two, gas is soo cheap.  I can fill my take for less that $30! I wish gas prices would go down to what they were when I first started driving.  One dollar a gallon.  

One more thing, okay?  I got tattooed on my stomach.  It is swollen.  I knew this would happen.   It isn't that big of a deal when the swelling is in your arm, but when it is on your stomach directly above your pubic hair (in fact some of my pubic hair was shaved )  swelling is no good.  Since you can't really elevate that area the swelling. . . falls?  I can't think of another way to describe the fact that it begins in one spot and drifts lower with gravity.  I swear.  Tomorrow the swelling will be, well you know where the swelling will be.  I don't have to be graphic.  Underwear is a chore.  So is sitting.  So are clothes.  So is sleeping.  You get the point.  Yesterday I had to jog across the street and my stomach was shaking.  That doesn't normally happen.  Swelling and jiggling really painfully bad combo.  

My next tattoo, I'm getting a chili dog.  I'm totally serious.  

The funniest thing in the world

I don't know if I've told you this, but the text message is the thing that will bring down our civilization.  Maybe I'm being a little dramatic, but I definitely see signs that people will be using more and more of it, and that it is really stupid.  Don't text the person you are fucking outside of  your relationship.  Stupid idea. If you do you will inevitably forget to erase one and then where will you be.  I'll tell you- up shit creek. 

Also, don't walk and text. Really stupid idea.  As I was leaving class today I saw a girl fall on her face, literally, because she was texting.  Don't worry- I held the laugh in.  She didn't hurt herself she just scratched her hand a little.  Her phone was okay she protected that baby like a drunk with some booze.  She had nothing to break her fall but her shoulder.  If she had 1 been watching were she was going it never would have happened and 2 had her hands free she probably wouldn't have fallen all the way down.  

I get that occasionally you need to send a text.  Really.  I do occasionally.  But it doesn't consume my life so that I can't take 4 minutes out of my busy texting schedule to walk across campus safely.  What is so important?  

Well, it's that time of year again kids.

The time when life really sucks, people are pulling you fourteen different ways, and your idea of good time is taking copious amounts of sedatives. You guessed it, the end of the semester squash. Why is that every single fucking professor waits to the very last minute to hit you with the biggest, most heavily weighted crap at the very end? I'm starting to think they don't know that other professors are doing it too. 

I am on edge. That is an understatement. I've also got a hefty dose of the P-M-S. On Monday I tell Kyle, "I think I'm going to start my period soon." His response, "You'll start on Wednesday. You always start your period on Wednesday." I give him a look that means: What? Really? He then says, "Yeah it's a full moon, too." You may not know this about me, but I'm a werewolf. Brings a whole new level to "Bitch", doesn't it.  

Here is full force of my schedule.  

Next Week:
Tuesday  

• Annotated Bibliography Due with AT LEAST 8 references 
  
• Write research proposal that satisfies my professor which I can't seem to do 
• Sociology Test (must finish reading Big Money Crime) 
• Read about 5 articles (I haven't even glanced to see how long they are) 

Thursday

• Perform Poem ( I am filled with so much dread I can't begin to describe) 

Thanksgiving Week

• Turn in an exercise in my surveillance class 
• Write a 2 page paper about the English Department  and what I learned 
• Write a 2-3 page paper about my performance and what I learned 
• Work like hell and read A Lot!

Last Week of School 

• 8 page analysis of a theme in Whitman's poetry
• 11 page research paper 
• Sociology Test (Must read Reefer Madness by Eric Schlosser before test) 
• Children's Literature Test 
• Clean my house so that I can have a party? 
• Pack for vacation 

I swear to you, just looking at this kinda triggers my gag reflex.  That could be the giant pit of despair and misery in my stomach.  Or heartburn.  

Today

Exercise is my new masochistic adventure. I don't know if it was the lack of oxygen or the endorphins from the searing pain the the back of my thighs, but I was feeling kinda high.

Kyle and I have been walking and running on the days I don't have school. But he didn't come with me today and I pushed myself really hard. My legs were still sore from Friday's workout.

Conversation at my house a couple of weeks ago:

Me: I wish I was more toned.
Kyle: Do you?
Me: Yeah I used to be firm. I'm not as skinny as I used to be.
Kyle: You aren't as young as you used to be either.
Me: Oh, thank you.


I'm both fat and old. Nice.

IFC

The Whitest Kids U' Know is a funny show.


This is how Kyle and I interact. The funniest thing is that I'm not kidding and it's only a small exaggeration.



I think the guy is really cute. He reminds me a lot of Kyle.

That clip didn't do it for you? How about getting high with dinosaurs? Guaranteed to impress!

More Reading

Today and tomorrow is the Texas Book Festival. I'm thinking of going. This weekend I read Number the Stars and Because of Winn-Dixie. Those along with Bridge to Terabithia is a little too much for one weekend. I still have to do my other homework. Not excited about that. Kyle and I have been going to the library on Sunday's. It is really nice.

Children's Literature Reading List

Last night I read Bridge to Terabithia. How come nobody warned me? That was one of the saddest books I have read in a long time. Seriously. I'm no stranger to sad books. But holy shit. I cried for a good 30 minutes. Scratch that. I sobbed for a good thirty minutes. Then I looked in the mirror and thought to myself it isn't possible for my face and eyes to be redder. I wanted to take a picture of the redness, but I decided against it. It's best to let those moments fade away with out physical proof.

Happy Halloween!

I'm going to a children's story time at my local library. I think I will dress up as someone who doesn't have tattoos.

I get nervous when she comes around

The week is over. (giant sigh of relief) Only 5 more weeks until the end of the semester. I'm so excited I can hardly stand it. I went and bought my cap and gown this week along with my invitations. I feel like I should have a party for myself, but that seems like to much effort and cleaning. Maybe I'll muster up some motivation. Maybe not. So my excitement about graduate school has been slowly waning. Here is my analogy. Library school is a woman. I was trying to find out which parties to go to so I could go and then pretend like it was an accident we saw each other. I was really working hard to get into library school's panties. She was playing hard to get. Years this went on. Finally I get her in the sack. Now I'm having visions of all the money and the time and the effort and commitment and I'm wanting to bail. I know in reality I won't. But the whole thing is making me tired just thinking about another 2 years of school. I know I can do it. I know I used to want to. (kidding) I know I can. I know I can. I know I can. I just have to mentally prepare.

Can't stop to chat

I fucked around all day and now I have to scurry around to try and finish all my homework.

Poetry

I have to perform a poem in one of my classes. I picked two Anne Sexton poems. I picked two because we have a 3 minute quota. Since my poems are so personal my professor encouraged me to perform them with a persona. Anne Sexton? High School Goth? I think I will do Anne Sexton. I need some clothes.

Stalking

For a class project I am supposed to stalk myself. Oh, through the internet. I am supposed to find everything there is to know about myself without paying. I have found my address and my telephone numbers both old and recent. I have found my flickr, blog and myspace (no surprise).

Have any other suggestions?


Do you like to stalk people through the internet? Do you lurk on the myspace?

Dear God,

You may remember me from such blog posts as: Please let me get into graduate school (bang up job on that by the way), please make my neighbors move out, and make the neighbor keep her dog from barking. I'm writing to talk to you about another dog. The previous dog has been so quiet. Whatever you did worked great. Could you work a little magic with this new dog? He has a blood curdling part yell, part bark, part howl that is horrific. It goes for hours. Hours. While your at it could you miraculously put the answer in my head to this question: Why do people lock their dogs outside and let them bark and bark and bark? It irritates me. I feel sorry for the dogs.

Thanks for reading,

Lauren

I'm back

Sometimes I-35 really blows and then other times I am so happy it brought me back home I forget how hard it blows. I feel like I need a shower after being in Fort Worth, to wash off all the hillbilly germs I got on me. I was mostly in Saginaw, a small town outside of Fort Worth.

You find out a lot about Texas towns by billboards. As we came up on Temple/Belton area there were tons of billboards that advertised "Keep an eye on Poachers" and it had a picture of a Bald Eagle. Is there an excess of eagle poaching in Temple? For God sakes. Then, as if that wasn't bad enough, when we got to Waco they had billboards that advertised that they had the 7th highest murder rate in Texas. Is that the kind of thing you want to advertise? I'm not really sure what that is supposed to accomplish. They should try Waco is for murderers. Or maybe- If you are thinking about coming to infect the Texas market with your inflated California money think again! Waco, where someone might knife you! How about - We don't have any jobs for you and we'll just as soon kill ya. Waco, where we want you to fuck off. Lovely, isn't it? Why didn't I go into advertising. I would be so good at it. That took me seconds to come up with. Waco might do good to hire me because I was a little unsure of their marketing strategy. There would be no mistaking mine.

We took a small poll in one of my classes the other day to find out who hates Houston and Dallas. One guy said he was from Dallas and he liked it. Werido. Personally, I hate both. Especially the driving. One second your on the road you are supposed to be on, according to your directions, and the next minute you take a left exit to lost-ville. The left exit is the bane of my existence. I am so glad Austin doesn't have the left exit. I might never find my way home.

How about you... Do you hate Houston or Dallas? (I promise I will judge you.) If your not from Texas you can play along with ....How do you feel about the left exit?

I'm off to Fort Worth

Why? My mom wanted to see her family and she didn't want to have to drive. I woke up at 5:30 AM. I'm wicked tired. How to people do this everyday? I would hate the world. More than I already do.

Would you rather wake up early or stay up late?

Demographics

I find it fun to see what commercials are played during a certain show and then make judgements about who the people paying for that space thinks is watching the show. For instance Kyle and I watch Law & Order: Special Victims Unit after SNL on Saturday nights. The commercials they play are ridiculous. Of course there are the sex chat commercials, but there are also AZO yeast infection pills, some kinda poop medicine (I can't remember if it is supposed to make you go or keep you from going), and diet pills. Ewwww! Can you image the poor person who needs all those things? They would be in a way. There must be a lot of people in a bad way.

I have a thing for these Golden Snub Nose Monkeys. Yes I realize that they have weird nose holes, but I like them. That little blue face and the golden hair is adorable, and big giant round eyes that melt me.

Cute?

Dick? Again

I am watching A Scanner Darkly in my surveillance class. It is a funny movie. A really good movie, but sometimes Dick is so fucking out there.

I have a test tomorrow. (It took me 24 years to remember how to spell tomorrow, but finally I have done it.)

Has it ever happened that someone finds you attractive and it surprises you? Like you forgot that was a quality that you possessed.

If you were going to describe yourself what is the first adjective on your list?

Vacation to Peru after I graduate . . .

Booked.

I had a dream about Corley last night. She was doing pottery at her house. I was so perplexed. I asked where she was working on it. As soon as I asked the answer was really obvious, but there was really no answer. I just understood.

I really want to make some pots for my plants. I think this is why I had this dream. Specifically this plant. I want to make a pot that looks like the bottom half of a psychedelic pineapple. Then I went to Corley's house and there was pottery tools getting used on pumpkins and then I had a weird dream.

Do you think your dreams mean anything?

I have a reoccurring dream theme

The dream is never the same, but the theme is balancing. There is always a long line of people (sometimes I feel like know them sometimes I don't but I never really see their faces) and we are all trying to walk over tiny walkways in order to get where we are going. Last nights: I walk up stairs then it ends at a window sill I have to walk across that is about half an inch wide to get to another flight of stairs and there is nothing to hold on to. I tried holding on to the window lock, or the flat wall, but I fell. Then I wake up. Having fallen I jumped a little so I can't go back to sleep. There was some talk of where we were going, however I don't remember. I do know the beach was involved.

The last dream I had like this I didn't fall. It was surprisingly easy. Oh, I can walk on a half inch ledge up against a wall without hanging on. Then the next thing was more difficult I went to step and I woke up.

Do you believe in psychics?

I have nothing to talk about

My head hurts. It is so nice to wake up in the morning with a headache. Especially when I haven't been drinking.

There must be a reason for these things

For some reason every time I visit my friends at the tattoo shop I used to work at we talk about twisted things. Sex in general, but it always ends up with anal sex. I don't know why. Another theme we seem to fixate on is transexuals. The question always comes up:

Would you have sex with a post-op male to female transexual? (If you prefer men then post-op female to male)

I always think of things to write when I am away from the computer

You wouldn't think it,but typing is so difficult in the mornings. Maybe it is just because I slept like shit. I'm just sitting here staring.

Maybe later.

Finally

It finally rained today. It rained a little yesterday too. The weather is fabulous. I don't think it had rained in almost two months. It feels like it anyway, maybe it was one month. I don't know. It has been over cast for a few days now. I wish it was like this every October.


Would you rather be hot or cold?

Almost Forgot

School Blows! I feel like I will never be able to be done with school. It is never ending. That is part of the reason in sucks so hard. There is no light. I swear. I think I know better, but I haven't actually experienced school ending. Therefore, I have reason to believe that it never will.

I have nothing to vote about today.

I know

This makes me a total sap and corny, but almost nothing makes me as happy as when the dogs are piling on me on the couch. All I need is some dog snuggles and it makes my day. How can anyone live without a dog? The house is so lonely without them. The quiet of the house when the dogs aren't in it just about drives me to crazy house. I like to touch foreheads with Grubb. I love dogs I wish I had two more. I wish I had the time and the money for two more. I don't, not even close. But someday.

Would you rather have a dog or a cat?

I would really like to never leave the house

It would be just fine with me if I rarely left. For the next 6 months if I could just watch movies, read books, and tend to the succulents that would be just fine. I need a vacation so bad.

Would you rather take a vacation to Chile or Panama?

Head Hunters

Kyle has a friend who started a band. We went to Headhunters last night at midnight to listen. It was surprisingly decent. It is such a mixed bag in that place. I don't understand the dynamics, at all. There are two levels. The bottom is full of angry, long-haired men. My kinda crowd. Nobody bumps you. Nobody smiles. Nobody talks to you. Perfect.

Then there is the second level. It is about as big as my living room. There is no separation of the stage. There was dancing. Boy, was there dancing. And hats. I was sitting in a chair by the bar and my knees were dangerously close to the dancing area. My knees have never been in such immanent danger of being dry humped. There was one guy in particular that was the most dangerous. He was way to excited.

There was a girl in short shorts, a teal tube top, and matching high heels. She was dry humped a number of times.

This one guy must have been dropped off there, because if he was old enough to drive I would have dropped dead from shock. He looked 13.

Lets get back to the hats. One girl was wearing a hat and a vest and skinny jeans. She was dressed like a nerdy guy from 1990. Not pretty. Kyle says all she needs is bolo tie to finish her outfit.

I wish I had ear plugs. It was way too loud.

Would you rather go on a date with a guy who is a total tool bag? Or go to the movies and out to dinner along?

Kyle's Birthday

I gave the dogs a bath. It's tiresome. Poetry is trying to kill me this semester. Its evil plot is working. I going to try to take it easy this weekend. By take it easy I mean on the school work. Last night I drank some beer. And some homemade wine. It was good. I felt so much better after that. I had a hard day yesterday. Get this. Last Sunday I started my period. That same Sunday I stopped my period. I guess because it was too much for my body to take, being sick and on my period. I thought it was suspect at first, but here it is again to cheer my life up that much more. Thanks period, here's to you.

Would you rather be on your period for the rest of your life or have your uterus removed?

Would You Rather....

get hit my a car or fall out of a three story building. Neither one kill you.

Would You Rather....

I know this is off topic, but maybe I can bring it around some how. Now that I got accepted to Library School the real worrying starts. How am I going to afford roughly 4-5 thousand dollars a semester. Not to mention books and all that other crap that goes with school. I need a TA position. If you manage to score one that is 20+ hours a week you get over $3,000 in tuition help. The 10-19 only gets 1,000. which is better than nothing, but the admissions advisor said that most aren't 10 hours. Anybody have 20 grand they want to give up, because I could really use it right now. I have a fairly big bank account with a guardian lock on it. I have been to the bank with the paperwork from the court and they won't take the lock off. They said my file is lost or some bullshit. I'm not really sure what I should do. I'm going to call the legal department.

So here you go. Would you rather have absolutely no money? Or have money but it is locked in a bank and you can't get to it in any form?

Day 7- I'm bored

Frankly, I'm sick. Sick and tired. I'm pretty sure I had strep throat this weekend. I don't know for sure because on Sunday Kyle called his Aunt, who is a doctor, and asked her to call in some antibiotics. Later that night my throat was feeling better so my suspicions were pretty much confirmed.

On a totally different note, I don't want to be 30. Is that weird? I'm really dreading it and it is a good 5 years away.


Back on track. Would you rather loose your vision or your hearing?

Would You Rather....

this is a little different format. Which technology do you think did more for human civilization. Hand washing or Antibiotics?

Okay. I'll put it to you this way. Would you rather deliver a baby and the doctor hasn't washed his hands and came from god knows what? Or die of a bladder infection? I don't know if you can actually die from a bladder infection, but after the third day you would want to.

Would You Rather....

I'm not really prepared today. My excitement about getting into UT has been eclipsed by the raging pain in my throat. Feels like nasty old tonsillitis. Let's not forget the mass of homework that is slightly smaller than it was yesterday. Okay, here's one.

Would you rather write a 5 page paper over something that is completely boring and that you have no interest in whatsoever or read 20 pages of something that is not only boring, but has no relevance to anything in your life and never will (performance art)?

Would You Rather....

(this question was actually posed in a conversation I had recently)

eat a dog or starve to death? It doesn't have to be your own.

A little good news

You are reading the blog of the newest student admitted to The University of Texas at Austin's School of Information. Boy, am I fucking excited. Everyone I tried to call to tell them the news didn't answer their phone, jackasses. I'm kinda down off my high now, but still a little amped.

Would You Rather...

lick shoe sole of a nurse or a trash man?

Would You Rather....

drink a shot of horseshoe crab blood or eat a roach? The roach is roughly the same size of the inside of the shot glass.

Would You Rather...

be locked in a dark room (an average bedroom size approximately 10x10) with a rabid raccoon or a non-poisonous snake?

Welcome, Welcome

You should prepare yourself for the horrible feast of all things grotesque. In two days I plan to let my imagination run wild as I wow you with the disgusting. Then I will let you vote which disgusting thing you would rather do. No fancy-schmancy do-das just you and me and the comments. I will always vote. Take some deep breaths, hold your nose, and plunge right in to the sticky fun.

The most exciting thing in my near future (sadly) is that there is a new season of Dexter and Californication airing this Sunday. [read deadpan] Ya-hoo.

My pirate name is:

Bloody Mary Bonney

Every pirate lives for something different. For some, it's the open sea. For others (the masochists), it's the food. For you, it's definitely the fighting. You can be a little bit unpredictable, but a pirate's life is far from full of certainties, so that fits in pretty well. Arr!

Get your own pirate name from piratequiz.com.
part of the fidius.org network

Thursday's Atrocities

Get to school 

Park (for free- miracle of miracles)

Walk to class

Almost get run over

Clean poo from my shorts (figuratively speaking)

School is way to long

Go to my moms'

Have dinner at Thunderclouds

Start feeling a little better

On a whim go to Neiman Marcus (the Goodwill I was looking for used to be near by)

Society affirmed that I have nothing and I never will, therefore I am inferior 

Drop my mom off at her house 

Drive home

Watch The Salton Sea

Look on the Internet for wedding shoes 

Kyle comes home 

Go to grocery store

Take Benadryl

Go to bed 

Wake up because Sluggs is having another seizure.  

Change the sheets because this time he lost control of his bowels. 

Cry a little on the inside 

Kyle takes the trash out and sees someone sleeping in their car across the street

This bothers him so he has to put clothes on at 4:30 in the morning and ask why they are there

Turns out if was some woman crying and text messaging 

This is a strange neighborhood 

Go back to bed 

Today I indulged in my one vice- Book Buying.  And Whataburger, I  guess that's two.  Which was a mistake.  The term "it went right through me" was created for situations in which you break down and eat fast food after going awhile without the greasiness.  

Brilliant Idea for October NaBloPoMo voting theme- the game "Would You Rather?" Light, easy, funny all the things I wish life were.  

I got some rest

and remembered what I had intended to write about.  Yesterday as I was leaving my Walt Whitman class I heard this conversation: 

Hey

You are in the class right across from me? What is it?

Walt Whitman

Oh, yeah? How are you liking it?

It is pretty tight.  

Tight? Really?  I didn't even realize that people still said that, little less use it to describe the single most boring class I have ever taken.  How do you think Whitman would feel having a class about him described as "tight"?  I contemplated suicide in that class yesterday.  The only way I could think to do it was slam my head on my desk.  I thought at the very least it would make me pass out and that would be a minute less I would have to suffer through the awkward silence and boringness.  I summoned up some will power and managed to make it through only to leave class and hear that.  

Yesterday, I also saw an incredibly attractive man.  I got out of one of my classes early and I was sitting in the hallway waiting for the class to get out of my next class.  A man walks out of the room.  I look up.  Holy smokes!  He has long hair in thin dreadlocks.  He is black so that is a good think not a bad thing. He has an unkept beard.  I can't tell how old he is. He has some kinda fabulous arms, taut and sinewy. Turns out he is the professor and he is British.  Good night.  It was making my head sweat.  

Clay Aiken is Gay !!!! What?

What a shock!  Blind people can tell he is gay.  

I left for school today at 11:30 am and I didn't get back to my house until 9:00 pm.  Way, way too long to be at school.  

I had something else to say, but I got all off track and now I'm too tired to remember.  

I have decided (should I do anything for Halloween, which is doubtful) to dress as Juno.  

the same hair- check 

ratty t-shirt- check

old holly jeans- check

dirty converse- check

vintage flannel- check 

I have to be a somewhat pregnant Juno because my tits are too big to be a non- pregnant one.  

Senioritis

I am so lazy.  It is getting to be a problem.  I just don't want to do anything.  It doesn't help that I don't particularly like any of my classes. Two back to back poetry classes is a little much.  And by a little much I mean completely horrible.  This semester is only three and half weeks in.  Only ELEVEN more weeks to go.  Approximately eleven papers to write, 6 tests to take, and a number of small projects before the end.  I hate school.  I can't help it.  

By the end of this week I will have knocked one test and one paper off the to-do list.  

Movies

I have watched so many movies this week, this weekend in particular. 

• Trantasia- fabulous, just as I expected a Transexual Beauty Pageant to be.
  
• House of D- I love David Duchovny sex addict or not. 
  
• Pieces of April- It was pretty good. I'm not a big fan of Katie Holmes. She bothers me, but I don't know why.
  
• Burn After Reading- Not my favorite Coen Brothers movie, but it was okay.
  
• Dream Lover- I love James Spader weirdo or not.
  
• I Know Who Killed Me- I hate Lindsay Lohan. Not because she is a lez, not because every movie she is in she is way over sexed, it is because her voice is like nails on a chalkboard and she can't act for shit.
  
• Lonesome Jim- By far my favorite of the bunch.  I really like Casey Affleck even if his brother is a douche-bag.  Steve Buscemi directs.  I laughed a lot.  I also love Mary Kay Place.  It isn't a comedy and it is a slow movie.  But I find "chronic despair" funny.  

Now I have to write a paper.  Boo-hiss! 

I have recently discovered the error of my ways

HIgh Fructose Corn Syrup is the same as honey and sugar. High Fructose Corn Syrup is "natural". Did you also know that manufacturers use HFCS because of all the benefits? Not because it is cheap, but because it is so good. Don't believe me? Check out this great website from the Corn Refiners Association, Sweet Surprise.

Movies

Recently I watched There Will Be Blood I am not even sure what to say about it. . . I have sat here quietly for a while and the result is I have no words to express how slow and weird that movie was. Talk about over rated. I also watched Juno. This too is over rated. It was a cute movie. It wasn't bad, but "Best Movie of the Year? (There Will Be Blood was nominated for that category at the Oscars too. Where the choosers of the movies stoned?) Juno is just a high school movie that got a lot of big press. I am really hating the trend of independent movies becoming popular. There is a reason why independent movies are independent. It is because they aren't made for the idiot population. They don't make money with the themes, etc. Doesn't mean they aren't good it means that they are really good. I have always said you have to wade through a lot of shit to find a good movie, but it is so worth it. I think the populous wades through a modicrum of shit finds a decent one then parades it around like they are the Indie Queen of the world. Yes, we all know you are so fucking cool for watching a movie that doesn't star The Rock. But please go back to the hole you came from so the Independent movie doesn't get watered down. If that gets taken away from me I don't know what I would do with myself. I would have to watch independent independent movies. That is already a genre- Youtube.

do you ever wonder what happened to yourself?

Sometimes I think about a past me and I find myself so different now. Is that true? Have I changed? And why? I know it sounds ridiculous, but I think college has finally broken me. I used to find things interesting. I used to find a lot of things interesting. What's more I used to want to learn about things. Now I just want to hide under the bed for about 3 months while I recuperate. Granted I am almost done. I have 3 days before I can apply for graduation. One step closer. But I know it isn't the end. Kyle is sure that I will get into library school, but I am racked with nervousness.

The reason why I thought of this was because I miss crafting. My heart is aching. I haven't done something that I really enjoyed and been happy with the finally product in a long time.

Once upon a time life was fun. I think I need to quit school and go back to work at the craft store. Kyle says after school I should craft for a living. I'm not sure crafting is that lucrative. But I can hope. He is looking into buying a kiln. *He's dreamy* A glass and ceramic kiln. Amazing.

Once upon a time I wasn't constantly worrying about what I needed to do for tomorrow. Instead I had time to enjoy my life. I hate thinking about what needs to be done for next week, next month, next anything. I don't give a shit. Right now. Right now. I have decided that college isn't for learning information. It is for learning the skill of planning and thinking about what is to happen in the future weeks of your life. In short, college is an institution that makes your life miserable way after you get out.

I cannot catch a fucking break

In order of least shitty:

Kyle and I play a little game. We try to find the worst thing on television and then turn it up really loud and see which of us crumbles first. Last night we watched the worst thing in the history of bad movies. Georgia Rule. Worst Movie Ever. They played a Ray LaMontagne song. Horrible. I almost cried. Then I created a scenario that he was starving and he had to eat so he sold them the song.

My mom is having surgery on Tuesday. She will not be able to go back to work for 2 plus weeks. He sister is coming to town to take care of her.

Sluggs had a seizure last night. He didn't wet himself so it wasn't a gran mal, but his eyes were open and he didn't seem to be able to see anything. His muscles were incredibly tense. It lasted for about 5 minutes and then he came back to us. We called the emergency vet and she asked if had gotten into any drugs or alcohol. I know this is a college town, but Sluggs isn't in a fraternity. It was so weird I'm am starting to wonder if this has ever happened before. We had been in bed for about thirty minutes and Kyle was almost asleep. I was watching a movie in bed. It was 2 o'clock and I looked over at Sluggs and his legs looked weird and I tried to wake him up but nothing happened. I thought he was just having a bad dream and moving his legs weird. I don't think I would have ever known had we already been asleep. When he woke up and his eyes were all over the place and he looked really scared and sniffing around like he didn't know where he was. He got off the bed and I was trying to talk to him and he was smelling around and then his whole body was stiff again and I held him and rocked him and talked to him while Kyle was on the phone with the vet. It was possibly the worst experience of my life. Kyle decided that he couldn't ever have children because it was too scary.

Oh, life. Cut me a break for a few weeks. Please.

TGIT

That is a Thank God It's Thursday. It doesn't quite have the same ring. How great it is that I my first full week of school has come and gone. The really great thing about school is that is passes time really fast. The bad thing is that time passes really fast and before I know it work piles up.

I have a serious amount of homework over my four day weekend.