I cover my eyes, still all I see is you

I found some pictures. You know the ones I was looking through the other day that gave me the crazy dream. They were extra fabulous so I thought I would share them. It is sort of a crime not to. They were taken in Spain mostly, some in Portugal by Kyle.

Um, your fly is open

Cutest picture EVER!



Kyle: "I'm tired of looking like a drifter."
Lauren: " Humph, no your not."
Kyle: "I got busted."

'07 is heaven

Yesterday, I spent my eighth consecutive New Year's Eve with Kyle. I had visions of '99-'00 New Year and thought, "Huh, who would have guessed?" Today eight years ago Kyle told me that he loved me for the first time. Ahhhh! I still remember. It is pretty easy to remember. Plus we had been together for 3 months exactly. Now we have probably told each other that we love each other about 3 billion times, give or take a billion. When I think about our relationship I think about how lucky I am. Some of my best memories are laughing with Kyle, nothing more. Laying in bed laughing, cleaning the house laughing, driving laughing, laughing until I have cried on to many occasions to count. For the better part of eight years I feel like all I have really accomplished is laughing more than anyone in the world.

In the whole time me and Kyle have been together he has scared me a handful of times. Not just a walk up behind you when you weren't expecting it kinda scare. The kind of scare that sucks all the wind from you, the kind of scare where you should scream, but there is no air to scream with. The first time we had probably been together 2 maybe three years. He wasn't supposed to be home. I got in the shower and I had heard something. I wasn't quite sure what it was so I said something, "Kyle" who knows. But Grubb didn't make any noise. It can't be that bad right? He barks when paper ruffles cause the fan is on. And right as I am thinking it can't be that bad. Boom, he opens the shower curtain. Oh, my god. I had visions of psycho. I just knew someone was going to murder me in the shower like a horror movie. I didn't scream. Those movies are all bullshit. It would be scarier if there was no screaming and someone got murdered quietly cause they were to scared to scream.

The next time was a couple years ago. We were at Carrabba's. It is an Italian food place that is so good. This particular time it was very quite there. We were laughing about something. It was something off color as usual. Something like someone being mean to their wife. I think I have blocked it. So we try to stifle our laughs as the waiter comes over. When the guy leaves Kyle says in this mock yell (the kind of yell type voice parents use when they don't want the whole word to hear them chastise there kid, it is very harsh and threatening but no necessarily loud), "Don't you even talk to the waiter." or "Don't you ever order for yourself." I don't know I blocked it for sure. I thought I would jump out of my seat. Something about his voice and the fact that maybe I had never heard it before? My heart stopped. He was kidding of course and we still laugh about this today. But it scared the shit out of me.

This last time was a couple of weeks ago. My mom went out of town. Kyle left for work. I left for her house to feed her dogs and give them water. She was going to be back the next day. I heard a knock on the door. The dogs were barking and everything. Tammy had this real pine thing on her door it wasn't a wreath. It was like a cluster of pine branches and they were tied in the middle with ribbon, think fleur de lie. Anyways, I couldn't look out the peep hole. I opened the door and crack and looked out. As soon as I could see this body came rushing towards the door with one big step. I froze I was so scared. My mind wasn't even processing what was going on. I almost slammed the door and locked it, but then I realized it was Kyle. He delivers pizza in my mom's neighborhood and he had delivered down the street and he was coming to see me and be sweet (and he bum rushed the door thinking I was only opening it a little to not let the dogs out), instead I peed myself. Not really, but if there was ever a time when I was going to lose control of my platter that would have been it. I am pretty secure in the fact that you can't scare the shit out of someone, literally.

Happy New Year

Minor Emergency

Swollen face

Normal Face

Baby Face

I had to take Sluggs, my very accident prone bulldog, to the emergency vet last night. He got some sort of bug bite and his face swole up like a balloon. Poor thing. He didn't start having breathing problems until we were in the car on the way to the vet. This happened last summer. But it was a lot worse and the swelling lasted a lot longer. The swelling is almost down, but it is still itchy.

My dogs are on a new diet

I started feeding them raw meat yesterday.

Let me tell you a really funny anecdote. Books I have read suggest when you are first starting to feed whole, raw, meat with bones in dogs won't chew. So to remedy you are not supposed to feed small things like a leg or thigh or something, but instead you want to let them eat off a large portion over time. This is so they will have to really tear it off instead of gulp it down. So I buy a whole chicken. Last night Grubb ate some of it. Then Sluggs ate some of it. Since most everything I read said you should feed separately because of higher food guarding, I did. Then this morning I was outside trying to get Sluggs to chew on it. He is having a little problem. He just likes to lick his chicken. So Kyle says maybe we should let Sluggs watch Grubb eat. Well, hell, why not? So we let them eat together and they are perfect angels. Nobody fought or anything. I was so proud. So here is the funny part. I was trying to get Sluggs what I was calling the chicken ass. In reality I think it was the neck. But it was a skinny tube of chicken that looked pretty gross. I was holding and trying to get him to chew on it. "Come on chew on the chicken ass. There you go chew on the chicken ass." That wasn't working. So I thought maybe I will try to pull that small portion off. I sort of messed with it a little bit and then as I moved it some organs squished out of the chicken ass and tumbled on to my hand. It was so disgusting. Sluggs, however, thought he just hit the million dollar jackpot on the slots!