The many exaggerations of Lauren

The drainage from my allergies has settled in my lungs = Horrible cough. Wheeze = "I think I contracted T.B. from the bus. You think that could happen? You know wallowing around with the poor like I am?"

I was really losing my voice from said allergies. "I'm sure this is the embodiment of the silent rage I hold for a.) the Spanish language b.) my Spanish class and finally c.) my Spanish teacher."

My teeth have recently made this little spot where food gets stuck. All of sudden. It is really getting bothersome. Flosses, "You could feed an Ethiopian family with the food stuck in between these two teeth. For a week. I swear it."

Garbage disposal making the weirdest, grinding, metal clinking noise. "There must be a baby or something stuck in the garbage disposal. Not some kind of fetus either. I'm talkin' a full to term thing in there. "

I get approximately 9 hours of sleep a night (or more). = "I'm so fucking tired. It feels like I never sleep!"

This reminds me of one of my favorite one liners from Metalocalypse.
Toki Wartooth: "I think I'm diabetic. I want to take a fucking nap."

Or something along those lines. I'm sure I really bastardized it. But you get the idea. Kyle and I laugh about this frequently.