Oh my

Just when I was reconciling with the fact that I felt like shit and it least it couldn't get any worse. It got worse.

Sunday, we went to Kyle's parents. I received about 2 inches of dog scratch on me leg. It bled. It also oozed a lot of plasma. Now it itches

Tuesday, Sluggs did a little dance on my toe and dug his nail into the soft cuticle skin right by my toenail. It bled. But it mostly hurt.

Today. I was in the shower. Kyle was leaving for work so he leaned in to give me a kiss. Being the tall, clumsy boy that he is he hit his head on the towel rack in the shower. There are two porcelain end caps holding on to a crappy plastic bar. He got mad that he hit his head and made a fist. Before I could say don't do it, he hit the end with the side of his hand. It came crashing down on my foot (where else would it go???). The only lucky part is that it is the same foot that Sluggs hurt. One of the porcelain end caps landed on the ledge of the shower and didn't break. The other. Oh, the other. I thought it just hit my foot as it shattered into a million pieces. Turns out it cut three of my toes. My big toe is cut open. There was tons of blood. Then Kyle started to feel really bad. It hurts now.

I think they will be able to save my arm

I was sweating there for a while.

I think a spider bit me. I went to throw something stinky away in the big trashcan on the side of the house. Since spiders hang out there I put my arm in front of my face. This was probably the best decision of my life. My face would be so busted right now if I hadn't. I have a swollen, red, hard welt on my arm now. I was afraid my arm was going to rot off so I went to urgent care at school. (I was down there anyway picking up my birth control. Lucky too because I wouldn't have made a special trip.) Usually you expect bug bites to get smaller and hurt less after two days. It got worse. It is the size of half dollar now and swollen. Did I mention it is hard. They put me on antibiotics for a spider bite. They just hand those things out like candy don't they. Is there anything antibiotics won't cure?

On the accident news front

My insurance is only going to pay for half of her damages. Since I was backing up I had "the greater duty to yield". Which really doesn't make any sense to me at all. Shouldn't the person who has "control of the aisle" be the one with the "greater duty" because, you know, they can see what is going on better? The fact that she had "control" of anything is pretty laughable. I mean, the fact that she didn't pull her car over she just stopped and cars could still drive around her without any problem in a one way aisle tells me she didn't have control over it.

But whatever.

It is better than paying everything. It is gone from my mind. Everything is okay. Unless she fights it and you know that will be pretty bad.

I want to get rid of my car

I didn't go to work, yesterday. I got into a car accident ten minutes before work. I didn't feel like it after that. It really upset me. It was just a fender bender, but I was still pretty pissed off when it happened. I sat in the car for a full minute telling myself to not be angry and don't be mean. The first thing the old bat says when she gets out of her car is, "You were pulling out so fast!" it was in this really fake, appalled way. I lost it and yelled, "Oh! Come on, Lady!" Oh, yes I yelled at an old, crippled lady. Because that was absolutely not true. She was a little taken aback by me I think. Never in my life have I wanted to hurt and old person as much as I did then. It really crossed my mind to push her down.

At this point in the story Kyle would interrupt and say something like, "Boy, somebody needs to go to anger management!" To which I reply with, "No, see, I just think about those things. I am managing my anger pretty good. When I start doing those things instead of just thinking about it, then I will need anger management."

She was driving too fast and too close to the cars when I pulled out. There happen to be a big giant truck next to me. We couldn't see one another. She scraped her car on my bumper. If she would have stopped in a timely manner she would have done much less damage to her car. Instead her car is pretty dinged up. Mine looks like this.As Corley said, "Your car is so hearty."

It really bothered me. I get a really bad vibe from this lady. I think she will try to rip off my insurance company. I couldn't sleep last night. I am tired of worring about things. I just wish I never had to drive anywhere.

No Glove, No Love!

This is a pretty good motto for all situations, but in particular when you are using a carving tool like this.


Without a glove, you will put it through your finger and it hurts. Bad. I have this habit of yelling fuck whenever I hurt myself. When I slipped and it hurt I said, "Fuck!" When I saw that there was a huge gash in my finger with blood coming out of it I yelled, "Fuck!" and then I just gave another "Fuck!" just for the fun of it. Of course, all the foul language is alarming. Kyle comes around the corner looking concerned.
"Are you okay?"
"Yeah, I just cut the shit out of my finger. I'm fine. But it is deep!"

Somehow I have two cuts on my finger. Obviously that is from both sides of the V shaped cutting tool. The weird part is it didn't scoop out the skin. It is a miracle. Come pray at my finger.

How do I injure myself?

Let me count the ways.

Thursday, I got a wicked paper cut on the inside of my ring finger. It was from the thick, slick paper that stickers come on. It bleed.

Friday, I tried to cut my thumb in half. I was cleaning tape gunk off my scissors and pushed a little to hard and my finger slipped. It mostly cut into to top layers of skin. It is sorta weird cause you can see where it went deep enough to bleed through the thin layer of skin that is loose. It hurts when there is loose skin to get caught on things.

Saturday, I hit my pinkie finger on a knife while cleaning a cutting board. It hurts and it is bleeding pretty bad. The first time I have ever cut my finger on a knife, and I wasn't even cutting anything. It didn't start bleeding for a few seconds and I could see the split all white and eerie.

That is three cuts in three days. Just call me Grace.

I have a confession

I really love Martha Stewart. For a short time a couple of years ago we didn't have cable. Late at night Martha Stewart was the only thing on. She does some really awesome stuff.

Today at work I saw the latest issue of Martha Stewart Weddings. On the cover is the single, most beautiful wedding dress I have ever seen in my life. I would post a picture if I could find one. Plus on the website there is all sorts of wedding tips, for finding the right dress for you and what not.

I also barked my shin on a ladder today. It hurt really bad. I wanted to cry.