On playing Wii:

You should hear the things that come out of my mouth. It is a well known fact that I have the foulest mouth this side of the writers of Deadwood, but sometimes I surprise myself. It just comes out, seemingly, with out my having anything to do with it's creation. I berate Mario. Nothing is sacred, poor guy. I make nasty comments about his weight, his nationality, and I insult his masculinity by implying that he is a homosexual. Yesterday Kyle and I played the shit out of Mario Cart and let me tell you no one is safe. Peach that "twisted whore" got her fair share of abuse. Not only am I ruthless, I am relentless. The insults fly out of my mouth next thing I know Kyle is laughing at me, then I have to think about what I said to see what was funny. Sometimes it is just a string of curse words that make absolutely no sense, but most of the time I create an inappropriate barrage of insults. My favorite it seems is "douche hole". I don't know why I have adopted this phrase as my favorite, but I suspect that "douche" lends a certain irritating asshole flavor and "douche" in combo with "hole" would technically mean vagina, and Mario can be a great big vagina. Solved that mystery didn't I.


P.S. I schooled my brother and Kyle on Mario Cart. Boo-Ya!