Sometimes I think about a past me and I find myself so different now. Is that true? Have I changed? And why? I know it sounds ridiculous, but I think college has finally broken me. I used to find things interesting. I used to find a lot of things interesting. What's more I used to want to learn about things. Now I just want to hide under the bed for about 3 months while I recuperate. Granted I am almost done. I have 3 days before I can apply for graduation. One step closer. But I know it isn't the end. Kyle is sure that I will get into library school, but I am racked with nervousness.
The reason why I thought of this was because I miss crafting. My heart is aching. I haven't done something that I really enjoyed and been happy with the finally product in a long time.
Once upon a time life was fun. I think I need to quit school and go back to work at the craft store. Kyle says after school I should craft for a living. I'm not sure crafting is that lucrative. But I can hope. He is looking into buying a kiln. *He's dreamy* A glass and ceramic kiln. Amazing.
Once upon a time I wasn't constantly worrying about what I needed to do for tomorrow. Instead I had time to enjoy my life. I hate thinking about what needs to be done for next week, next month, next anything. I don't give a shit. Right now. Right now. I have decided that college isn't for learning information. It is for learning the skill of planning and thinking about what is to happen in the future weeks of your life. In short, college is an institution that makes your life miserable way after you get out.
1 comment:
My last full semester made me suicidal. I am not exaggerating. You know I suck when it comes to planning. I considered riding my bike straight into the path of an oncoming car one night on my way up to school one night to work on a paper. Ironically, feeling like that made it possible to break the writer's block that was causing some of my stress.
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