So here is the thing

I can't bring myself to go back to my job. I can't go to school if I continue to work there because the schedules conflict. I can't only work there because I won't last a week. I would have to kill myself. After much crying last night (with boys I would rather not cry in front of), I have decided I have to quit. I just can't do it. Last week I went home because I couldn't stop crying and I thought I was just having pms. Well, I was. But that wasn't the only problem. So what do I do now? I have applied for a few things. I have a friend looking into a waitress job at a strip club for me. I don't know about that. But frankly, at this point, sucking dick for spare change in the park sounds preferable to going back to taking calls all day. The funny thing is is that it would probably take more brain power to suck dick than I use at my job right now. Seriously. It is that mindless. I don't know what I'm going to do, but I guess I'll find something. I keep waiting for the clouds to part. They aren't. I don't know what the deal is.

My other option is running away. Being a house cat in another country.

I also realized today that I am disgusted with myself. I haven't done anything creative in months. I can't follow through with anything. I've hardly taken a picture in months. I gotta keep moving. Everything about me is atrophying.

I can't keep complaining. So, see ya soon.