The worst night EVER!

I wanted to see the Season Premiere of The L Word. Last year Corley and I went a gay club and watched it. It was fun. I love the show. I love watching lesbian drama. What can I say? So after RSVPing like the website told me to do, when we got to the venue it was sold out. We were even early. I was so heart broken. Then we went to a few gay clubs to see if they were going to play it. They weren't. What is a girl to do? Go home and watch it at home? Well that would be great, but unfortunately no Showtime.

The we went to a bar since we were downtown. Somebody fell on me. She didn't realize there was a step and she tumped her chair over backwards and fell on me. This really isn't unusual, 'cause let me tell you something. I must look like a giant fucking target. I can't go to sporting events with balls, or play any sports with balls. Inevitably they hit me in the face or head. That really isn't fun. I have been hit in the face with every single ball ever played with, maybe. Lets see, my dad hit me in the eye with a tennis ball once, my brother hit me in the face with a soccer ball when I was little (that is a favorite family story), I was hit in the head with a volley ball while in a pool when I was like one and it hit me so hard I was dunked (also a family favorite), I was once hit in the throat with a kickball which really hurt. So that leaves golf balls, foot balls, anything else? And for the record she mostly fell on my legs, but the chair or her head or her elbow, something hard hit the back of my hip and it is bruised and it is sore.

I just thought about going home and crying myself to sleep. But we decided to go to a giant local book store and it was fun. Then we went to see my friend from my old job. It was fun. He told us some funny stories. I felt a little better. Then we went to IHOP and I gorged myself with blueberry pancakes. I think in the end this only made me feel worse.

When I was almost home, driving in my neighborhood there was this old wooden sign and it was completely ablaze. It was midnight and there was this old wooden sign on fire? Hmmm, that is weird I better call the fire department, just in case. So I call, I tell them that there is a fire in my neighborhood, not a house, it is a wooden sign. Then she asked what kind of fire it was. It is a sign, what do you mean? What is it started with? I don't know. I just drove by and there is a fire. "No", she says, "What is it?" A sign how many times do I have to say a wooden sign is on fire. I know it sounds like I am high, but there is a fucking sign on fire. It took the fire department about 10 minutes to get there. I had already gone home, but I heard them. That would really suck if your house was on fire and it took 10 minutes. You could probably die by then.